It’s been a while since I’ve posted. While I do not have time to blog full-time, I do want to keep a record of personal accounts as they come to mind. I know that my personal experiences are not outliers, and that every time I share something from my life in “Christian” Patriarchy, someone will reach out and tell me they had the same experience or something similar. It is with that in mind that I share this post taken from my recent Twitter thread.
What was it like in my Patriarchal home, you ask? Brace yourself. When our eldest daughter was 13 and before she started her period, my then husband told me he did not want her to use tampons because it would break her hymen and it was important for her future husband to do so.
I also thought it was disgusting the way he talked about her future husband treating her like some sexual object to conquer as if it was his right and privilege to “pop” that piece of skin that may or may not even be there. He of course said this was God’s design.
I worried about her because I had a very heavy flow and needed multiple feminine products. What if she was like me? How did I handle it? I never mentioned tampons to my 2 daughters…ever. I provided pads, but never tampons and never brought up the subject. This was unlike me.
Inwardly, I was heartbroken. I was their mom and this should have been a conversation only I had with my precious daughters. But he was the “head” of the home, and my job was to be submissive. So I honored his request.
So, while I never mentioned tampons to my daughters (in obedience to my husband) they apparently found out about them, and I later learned that they secretly took mine. Later, as life went on and difficult stories were told, they learned about this and were rightly livid.
Patriarchy destroys women. It denies women their personhood. It objectifies women as merely something to penetrate and own (see Doug Wilson for evidence): https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2021/06/06/we-now-see-the-fruit-of-doug-wilsons-teachings-on-marital-sex-personal-accounts-of-marital-rape/
Your Christian sisters need you to know these stories. Every single time I share a personal story, I get messages telling me their abusive personal accounts in Patriarchal homes. There are so many living in this kind of environment.
As always, if you are a wife in a Patriarchal home and need a safe place to talk, please message me. I have a private safe group.