So..right now I am living life to the fullest….camping with my kiddo and friends. Bike Bubba made a comment regarding getting off my meds and it reminded me that I forgot to give an update on that part of my life, too.
I posted about it on my Facebook page and on Twitter, and once again, was dumbfounded by the power of personal stories. The responses I received privately told me what I long suspected. Many of us have gone through crap and have needed extra help to get over our crap. It is what it is and you guys know me…it doesn’t help to hide in shame in our journey. It’s best to face the demons and work through them.
So, this is more of my journey. Feel free to comment and share your story if some of it resonates with you. Or..feel free to reach out privately.
My Personal Mental Health Joutney
Ok, here’s another personal note that will probably be considered TMI for many of you. If it is, then you are not the intended audience (said with a smile).
I just hung up from my doctor’s video appointment. One minute ago, my doctor gave me permission to stop taking my remaining meds for mental health. This has been a months-long weaning process, and an important process to make sure my body responded okay.
Let me back up a bit. The only other time I have been on anti-depressants was in 1992 when I went through major depression PTSD after experiencing a 7.9 earthquake.
I went through 3 years of therapy then. It really wasn’t about the earthquake, it was about my abusive childhood, and the earthquake just set everything off.
Fast forward a few decades, I was in a destructive marriage and going to school full-time when I started to experience heart issues. . . so I thought. It felt like an elephant was standing on my chest. It was so disruptive that I could not do my homework or concentrate. My heart checked out fine. The doc said, well, let’s try this _, and if it works, then we know it’s not your heart, but anxiety. It was anxiety. Ugh! So what I did NOT want to hear.
Long story short, in order to survive and complete my schooling, it required that I go on meds. I can’t stand going on any meds. I’m a natural-type person who tries to do everything but go on meds. I succumbed because it was the only thing that worked. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Great. Not what I wanted whatsoever, but sometimes you just do what you have to do to move forward. I knew it wouldn’t be permanent, so I sucked it up.
Fast forward 4 years – – I freakin’ graduated. Woohoo!!! You’d think that things would be better, right? Guess what? I still required those meds. I went to the doc, told him I wanted to get off and he said it wasn’t going to happen until I changed my environment. Whoa!! That was a reality check. My home environment was such that I could not function without meds. That was a tough pill to swallow (pun intended).
You all know the rest of the story, the new job, the life-saving divorce.
So here’s the message I would like to bring home to any others who are in destructive relationships. Abuse kills and destroys our bodies physically and mentally. Even though I thought I was strong enough to focus and get through school/life, it required extra help medically. But it wasn’t permanent because I was able to finally change my environment.
If you are in a destructive relationship, I want to encourage you to GET OUT OF THAT ENVIRONMENT. I wish I would have done it earlier. Your life is valuable. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
My “message” box is always open, friends. My motto always is . .
if my story can help just one person . . . ❤
PS I’m off my freakin’ meds!!! WOOHOO!!!!!
****hoping this post turns out. Doing this from my phone and the signal is not great out here.