ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Egalitarianism, Marriage, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement

Pastor Gabriel Hughes’ Tweet on a Wife Taking Her Husband’s Last Name Because She Now “Belongs” to Him

“Because now belonging to her husband as the head of a new household, she’s exchanged her father’s last name, which she had before, for her husband’s last name.” ~Pastor Gabriel Hughes

What do you think? Do you agree with Pastor Gabriel Hughes? Let’s discuss.

20 thoughts on “Pastor Gabriel Hughes’ Tweet on a Wife Taking Her Husband’s Last Name Because She Now “Belongs” to Him”

  1. How does this fit into Spanish culture? Typical naming convention for this culture is that the first is the paternal surname and second is the maternal surname. In Spanish culture, women do not change their names when married and members of the same family have different surnames.


  2. Bodies may belong, but a human is sooo much more than a body.
    Many men think of their wife as a body, primarily. Selfish ignorance.
    Ministers tend to preach a gospel according to Paul, neglecting to teach a gospel according to God(Jesus) who counts all humanity equally.
    Bottom line about the last name, Tradition.


  3. I linked to this video in the last thread, but I thought it was fitting in this one,
    on You Tube:

    _You Don’t Own Me, sung by Lesly Gore_

    That song was recorded in what, the 1960s?
    That song may be even more relevant today in this climate of hyper-male insecurity against women making more progress in society than they did back then.


  4. Regarding the Tweet by Elijah Sims posted above by Julie Anne.

    I sent that guy about three, four tweets just now, one w/ a comment, two or three with links.

    My comment to him:

    Replying to @ElijahSims90 @yiotakayart
    It’s interesting that you mistakenly assume that any woman who disagrees with you about this are feminists and/or liberal.
    You may want to rethink that.
    — end tweet quote–

    Under another one of his tweets, I sent him two links from pages on my own blog, because he went into this thing about how truly, godly great complementarian men would never abuse their wives, etc and so on:

    one link was to a page on my blog where I explain that Complementarianism is identical to Codependency, and Codependency for either sex, is not biblical or healthy
    the other link to my blog was about how even the nicer, kinder more mellow version of Comp he is promoting is still harmful to women.

    I sent him a link to this page (he’s one of those headship guys who likes to ignore or deny that Eph 5.21 says that husbands must submit to their wives – ie, mutual submission of all church members to other ones):


  5. Sounds to me like he is saying therefore shall a woman leave her father and her mother, and shall cleave unto her husband: and they shall be one flesh.

    He had better read Genesis 2:24 again.


  6. In patriarchal Islamic cultures women usually do not change their surname at marriage, as it is a record of her parentage. In patriarchal Hindu cultures on the other hand, women usually do change their surname on marriage as married women ceremonially leave their own family and become a part of their husbands’ family, so much so that even if they are widowed they remain with their husbands’ family. The Bible has nothing to say on the subject, as surnames are very scarce in general there, so it is clearly a matter of individual liberty regarding what a Christian woman from any culture decides to do about her surname when marrying.


  7. I don’t mind using my husband’s last name, but my FORMER, (Patriarchal) church would address any mail to me as Mrs. and then my husbands, whole name, they completely left out my first name. I also resent at the end of a marriage ceremony the minister proclaiming the couple as man and wife. It sounds as if she is just a thing while he keeps his identity. It would be stupid to proclaim them as man and woman duh, but his marital status has now changed too, he is a husband now.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. @Daisy:

    On Patheos, regarding a Christian Manosphere group that was criticizing the Captain Marvel movie:
    _Patriarchs Think Female Superheros Are Lesbians?_

    Well, if you use the middle-school PUA shtick where “She won’t let me into her pants, She’s a LESBIAN!”…

    In the early days of local Furry Fandom, we had one slimy artist type who was infamous for hitting on anything with boobs in the most blatant way possible; when her (highly understandable) reaction was to tell him where to go, he’d start “She’s a Dyke” whispering campaigns against her. When I first met Ann back in the early Eighties, he was spreading that about her.

    Said guy was a real piece of work. I did have the satisfaction of watching said slimeball get thrown against a wall multiple times at Comic Con several years later, when he tried spreading that rumor against two well-known female small-press comics artists and they found out. Took turns bouncing the shmuck off the wall in a corridor of the old Hotel San Diego outside the room party (where all three showed up at the same time).


  9. Also. I had a coworker who had been divorced and widowed and then remarried and changed her name each time. She had to bring SO much paperwork to get anything legal done! What a pain I thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I really don’t have a problem with a woman taking her husband’s last name if that’s what she wants to do. Some women even add both her maiden name and married name with a hyphen. If the wife belongs to her husband then he also belongs to his wife as they become one flesh. God Bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’ve heard of couples deciding to take the wife’s last name as their married name – sometimes because she was the last chance to perpetuate the family name, and sometimes because the guy’s surname was weird. I think that’s pretty cool. I think Hughes is right – taking the name hearkens back to English Common Law where the wife and husband became one legal person… the husband. By the way, I know some women who did not change their names, and just now wondering why, I discovered that in Quebec, it is illegal for the woman to take her husband’s name.


  12. I would answer that taking one’s spouse’s surname can be a wonderful way of emphasizing the “oneness” of marriage, though it’s not a Biblical command or even model as far as I can tell.

    If we argue possession, we first of all have the issue that possession is mutual in Scripture per 1 Cor. 7, and that’s even emphasized by the fact that the Hebrew and Greek words for “Husband” and “wife” are simply “,man” and “woman”–it’s just in a form or context that indicates that one belongs to another. German and other languages use the same pattern, and perhaps part of our confusion is that English may be an “outlier” in having separate words for “husband” and “wife”.

    Another way of doing things I saw; one Chinese-American couple I knew in LA actually chose a surname that was new to both of them when they got married in a surprise to most of their friends. (part of the deal there may have been that there might have been another surprise involved…)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Just fyi everyone (especially women)…

    If you want to see some absolutely hilarious and spot-on spoofing of nouthetic (biblical) counseling, John Piper-ish counseling, and Transformed Wife-ish counseling, visit Natalie Hoffman’s YouTube channel.

    She has recently posted three very funny “Snap Shot” videos satirizing what these types of counselors would say to biblical people like Abigail, Ruth and the future King David.

    If you haven’t already heard of Natalie Hoffman, she heads up the ministry of “Flying Free” to Christian women in abusive relationships… “Helping women of faith find hope and healing after emotional & spiritual abuse”.

    *** TRIGGER WARNING, while very funny, there is a chance you may find these videos triggering if you have had abusive counseling ***


  14. Because total lack of a sense of humor (even worse than a cruel sense of humor) is a mark of a Fanatic.

    “There can be no humor in Islam.”
    — Ayatollah Khomeini, clerical dictator of Iran

    “The Devil, that proud spirit, cannot stand to be mocked.”
    — John Donne, as referenced by C.S.Lewis in Preface to Screwtape Letters

    “Satan fell through force of Gravitas.”
    — Milton(?), referenced by C.S.Lewis in in the same preface


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