Lori Alexander, Child Sex Abuse, Spiritual Abuse
-by Kathi
We’ve seen the type of advice Lori Alexander gives to wives experiencing domestic abuse. Just when you think she couldn’t stoop lower, she addresses children visiting their incarcerated fathers who sexually abused them.
It all starts when she defends Michael and Debi Pearl’s teachings which leads to a teachable moment for the child.
It is disgusting that Lori finds it acceptable for a child (and the mother for that matter) to visit the perpetrator of their abuse. All in the name of Jesus. I don’t care if it is the child’s father, a child should never be forced to face their abuser as it adds more trauma.
How exactly is a child shown God’s grace and forgiveness when going to visit an “evil father?” Is the mother supposed to do a Bible study and prayer with the child to prepare them to learn forgiveness and grace? Technically, in Lori’s world, that should be the father’s responsibility, but in this case he is “evil,” so I’m assuming that responsibility is on the mother. All it is showing the child is that God (and Lori) cares more for the abuser than the victim.
Of course, if you’re looking for these comments on her Facebook page, you won’t find them. They’re gone. Poof!
Special thanks to my fellow Facebook friend for catching these screen shots before they disappeared!
Spiritual Sounding Board 
Yet again, Serena Joy lectures the Handmaids…
LikeLiked by 1 person
As of now, They Never Existed, Comrades.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow she has no sense of decency. I don’t understand her fan club, male or female, I don’t understand how she is seen as an example of the ultimate Christian woman by some.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lori needs a truckload of therapy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The Pearl’s teachings are from the pit of hell and Lori Alexander is trying hard to keep up with them. These false teachers brainwash people with directives on how to humiliate and destroy children (and women), while selling their deceptive brand of religious pride and superiority.
Christians are to shun evil predators and protect vulnerable children. Lori Alexander’s advice is the exact opposite…coddle the evil, convicted and incarcerated molesters by giving them access to their tender victims again! (a prison visit would at least give the molester emotional and psychological access, plus a certain physical proximity). What is the matter with this woman? She appears to be bereft of any compassion or common sense. Nothing, absolutely nothing in the Bible would suggest that bringing children to evildoers (proven or suspected) is a virtuous act.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is one other reason why learning about Boundaries is so important, especially in childhood. Many Christians criticize the concept or mock it, but it’s important.
It can mess you up in childhood if you’re taught that having Boundaries is wrong. There are also messed up messages among a lot of Christians about the subjects of forgiveness and God’s grace, as we can see in Lori Alexander’s posts.
God’s grace should not be used as a “get out of jail free card,” to do whatever they want, even if it hurts others, and then get off scot free, but some self professing Christians use it precisely that way (such as Tullian Tchividjian).
Others incorrectly assume or teach that forgiveness means having to stay in contact with an abusive or dangerous person.
I was taught a lot of that stuff in childhood by my Christian parents and the churches we went to. I had to un-learn it in adulthood, by doing a lot of reading about these things.
During the many years I lacked boundaries and felt “being forgiving and godly” meant having to spend time with harmful people, I was treated poorly or taken advantage of by those people.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you have to do something like go visit them in jail if they could potentially harm you physically or emotionally, or may sexually assault you.
God’s grace doesn’t mean you subject yourself to mistreatment or allow someone to escape consequences for their actions.
Lea said,
I agree, but if she’s a John MacArthur type, she will likely believe that all therapy, except for Christian Nouthetic Counseling, is evil, worldly, and therefore wrong, and all she or anyone really needs to get over issues is to pray, read the Bible, and “turn it over the the Lord.”
-eye roll-
LikeLiked by 1 person
A predator is not entitled to his/her victim in order to feel good about themselves. A victim owes their molester nothing. A victim’s job is to concentrate on healing themselves. Surely a predator is able to come to repentance without once again using the victim for self gratification.
I started to wonder if Lori is so attention seeking that she’ll even troll for negative attention, but then she’d probably leave the comments up. It’s chilling to think about how many households have been influenced by these noxious teachings. In a time when church sex abuse is being increasingly exposed, how else can you ensure that there will always be fresh victims?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Jesus does not agree with Lori. He says, “But whoever is a cause of trouble to one of these little ones who have faith in me, it would be better for him to have a great stone fixed to his neck, and to come to his end in the deep sea.” Mat.18:6
LikeLiked by 2 people
This kind of advice was given in the circles i grew up in and I have seen the devastation it causes. I remember one family in particular where the dad molested a bunch of the kids and the mom was continuing to see him in prison. The oldest daughter was extremely hurt by that and tried to express it but got shut down because her mom was doing what a good wife was supposed to do. Two of the kids later committed suicide.
LikeLiked by 1 person
JayD said,
Heartbreaking, especially the very last sentence.
I wish more Christians understood that what they teach, the doctrines they promote (and at the expense of people), have real-life, sometimes deadly consequences for people.
Many don’t seem to care. Most seem to prefer defending doctrine over caring about people, orthodoxy vs. orthopraxy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
@BTDT:
FEATURE, NOT BUG.
(Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Know what I mean Know what I mean…)
LikeLiked by 1 person
@Daisy:
Purity of Ideology, Comrades.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So I can send her the names of victims from my family alone and she can go visit and see these spawns of evil. They too can come to JESUS and receive forgiveness, as we are all sinners, but I for 1 would not allow any perpetrators to be around myself or my children. Just like I would not give the keys or the vault code to a bank robber, etc. Forgiveness is always right but allowing any interaction with someone like this is not safe. We may be forgiven but if you commit the sin you must pay the price for your choice. And I for 1 am the survivor of family members who ended up in jail for their crimes against me. I forgave but if I ever saw them let alone in prison, hell would have to freeze over first. Spoken by a 62 year old survivor from childhood. In closing if she wants she can take the perpetrators to her house and see how long she would keep her idea’s for other’s who have suffered a life sentence because of their actions and her wrong teachings. Under her theory they should close all prisons and let criminals free. KS.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So suppose you have a guy who is in jail because he molested his daughter, and he’s known to be sexually attracted to children.
If Lori A. has grandchildren, would she feel fine allowing this guy to come stay at her home for two weeks while her grandchildren are there?
Would she permit him to watch her kids while she steps out on an errand?
Has anyone ever asked Lori,
1. does Lori expect anyone and everyone to take her advice, and if she replies “yes,” then ask her,
2. Why should they trust her advice is workable, moral, correct, and acceptable?
If she replies, “Because it’s biblical,”
I’d ask her how can I (or any of us know) that her interpretation of the Bible on any given topic is 100% correct?
Isn’t is possible her understanding and application of the Bible is incorrect and, if so, ain’t it quite the gamble to put a child’s bodily safety on the line, all for her possibly erroneous understanding (of grace, forgiveness, parenting, etc)?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Part 2 I said
Just dawned on me that this is kind of a reverse Pascal’s wager or whatever it’s called. The one where the Christian apologist says to the Non-Christian (say, an atheist), “what if you’re wrong about God not existing, continue to reject Jesus, and find yourself in Hell one day? Do you really want to risk that?”
In Lori’s case, I’m like, honey, if you are WRONG about your biblical interpretation and application (and I think she’s really, really wrong) about these issues, you are advising parents to put children at risk – why take that risk – you imbecile.
(Yes, that last line is pure ad hominem. I own it. I’m happy to own it.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just reread Lori’s statement that the child in this situation would see a “powerful testimony of God’s grace and forgiveness.” NO! What the child would see is a powerful testimony that his/her pain doesn’t matter… that God loves abusers but hates children… that his/her mother also loves the abuser more than their child… that they will never be truly safe.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Is she seriously suggesting that the Pearls have never written about child abuse? Because they totally have. There were a few notorious articles about 10 years ago. Some choice quotes:
“But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is willing to seek counseling and repent, then fine and good. If not, then go to the law and have him arrested.”
“Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution.”
We linked to it on the blog, but NGJ has scrubbed their website since 2008, so the link doesn’t work anymore. I’m looking for the original. Anyway, Lori is a monster and seriously misinformed. At best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here’s the article referencing the quotes above:
https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/
You must scroll down to Michael’s response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
jenrhampson – Oh, I know. I could have addressed the reference to the Pearls but didn’t have the time. I think that’s good call out and I’ll see what I can find.
LikeLiked by 1 person