K.B. Davies frequently comments on Lori Alexander’s Facebook page, The Transformed Wife. Lori allows his comments to stay and doesn’t challenge them. Why Lori leaves comments from men like K.B. and Trey unchallenged is mind boggling. Personally, I would distance myself as far away as possible from someone who uses the Bible to support domestic abuse. The fact that he comments on a women’s-only teaching page is for another day.
Digging a little deeper, he blogs and markets himself with the following: “Transformational Change Agent. Thought Leader. Spiritual Coach. Author & Speaker. Self Development. Personal Growth.”
K.B. Davies recently posted this on his Facebook page:
Contrary to the narrative being pushed, most people do not stay in abusive relationships or marriages because of an unwavering obedience to the word of God.
They do so for various other reasons – the “shame” of divorce, societal and family pressure, embarrassment, fear of the unknown, low self esteem, nowhere else to go, security, comfort, etc, etc.
So, let us bury this lie once and for all, and stop pretending as if we are talking about serious Christians holding on passionately to the word of God at the personal risk of life.
Truth is, those who want disobey God will always look for a loophole to help them justify it. Rather than take responsibility for their choices, they will attempt to conjure up various automatic disclaimers and exemptions, then justify it using the Bible.
With Divorce, the justification is domestic violence – even though the vast majority of divorces are not for this reason.
With Masturbation, it is being single or unmarried – even though those who are married continue their masturbation habit.
With Abortion, it is rape, sexual abuse, or the “mother’s safety” – even though LESS THAN 1% all of abortions are for these 3 reasons joined together.
Can you see a pattern emerging?
There is simply no excuse or justification for disobeying any of God’s commandments – EVEN IF IT RESULTS IN YOUR DEATH.
This hard truth is a scriptural fact – Philippians 2:8.
Thus, one person’s disobedience, cannot be used to justify another person’s disobedience. And the inability of people to obey God in one area, cannot be used as a justification for their disobedience in another area.
Point is, no amount of domestic violence between spouses, no wife killing her husband, or husband killing his wife can change, alter or invalidate what God has laid down regarding Love, Submission, Marriage or Divorce.
A man who does not love his wife the way Christ loved the church, or a woman who does not submit to her husband the way Christ submitted to God, cannot invalidate it either.
It is time we stop using the Bible to justify our weaknesses and blaming it for our inability to do what it says.
K.B. Davies | Transformational Power™ ©2018
This is why I have a problem with those like Lori Alexander and K.B. Davies who believe that abuse is not an acceptable reason for divorce. In their minds, a victim is bound to their marriage no matter what, Even if your life is at stake.
Let’s start at the beginning of this mess. First, he states that people do not stay in abusive marriages because of their obedience to God, but for various other reasons that have nothing to do with God. Truth is, victims stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, including the sense of duty to God to not end a marriage. That is not a lie. K.B. seems to not understand the dynamics of domestic abuse.
Then he says that victims will use domestic abuse to justify divorce even though most divorces are not for this reason. Common reasons for divorce include infidelity, financial struggles, substance abuse, and incompatability. But, guess what? Abuse is also a reason why people divorce! I’m struggling to follow his logic.
Next comes a Bible verse. Let’s see where this is going:
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross! Philippians 2:8
Somehow this verse leads K.B. to surmise that a victim should not justify divorce (disobedience to God) because the spouse is being disobedient to God by abusing. I’m assuming this is his “two wrongs don’t make a right” argument.
The final kicker in K.B.’s statement is that regardless of how far violence progresses in a relationship, a victim is still bound to the marriage, even if death is imminent. This is because he believes God values the institute of marriage over the individual lives in the marriage.
Here is what K.B. Davies fails to mention: Domestic Abuse is a CRIME! Physical abuse is a crime! Sexual abuse is a crime! Emotional abuse is a crime! Homicide is a C.R.I.M.E.!
K.B. thinks that people use the Bible to justify their weaknesses. Truly it is those who try to maintain power and control that use the Bible to justify their injustices and unrighteousness on those who are suffering.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices — mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law — justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.(Matthew 23: 23 -24)