-by Kathi
***
K.B. Davies frequently comments on Lori Alexander’s Facebook page, The Transformed Wife. Lori allows his comments to stay and doesn’t challenge them. Why Lori leaves comments from men like K.B. and Trey unchallenged is mind boggling. Personally, I would distance myself as far away as possible from someone who uses the Bible to support domestic abuse. The fact that he comments on a women’s-only teaching page is for another day.
Digging a little deeper, he blogs and markets himself with the following: “Transformational Change Agent. Thought Leader. Spiritual Coach. Author & Speaker. Self Development. Personal Growth.”
K.B. Davies recently posted this on his Facebook page:
Text reads:
NO EXCUSES:
Contrary to the narrative being pushed, most people do not stay in abusive relationships or marriages because of an unwavering obedience to the word of God.They do so for various other reasons – the “shame” of divorce, societal and family pressure, embarrassment, fear of the unknown, low self esteem, nowhere else to go, security, comfort, etc, etc.
So, let us bury this lie once and for all, and stop pretending as if we are talking about serious Christians holding on passionately to the word of God at the personal risk of life.
Truth is, those who want disobey God will always look for a loophole to help them justify it. Rather than take responsibility for their choices, they will attempt to conjure up various automatic disclaimers and exemptions, then justify it using the Bible.
With Divorce, the justification is domestic violence – even though the vast majority of divorces are not for this reason.
With Masturbation, it is being single or unmarried – even though those who are married continue their masturbation habit.
With Abortion, it is rape, sexual abuse, or the “mother’s safety” – even though LESS THAN 1% all of abortions are for these 3 reasons joined together.
Can you see a pattern emerging?
There is simply no excuse or justification for disobeying any of God’s commandments – EVEN IF IT RESULTS IN YOUR DEATH.
This hard truth is a scriptural fact – Philippians 2:8.
Thus, one person’s disobedience, cannot be used to justify another person’s disobedience. And the inability of people to obey God in one area, cannot be used as a justification for their disobedience in another area.
Point is, no amount of domestic violence between spouses, no wife killing her husband, or husband killing his wife can change, alter or invalidate what God has laid down regarding Love, Submission, Marriage or Divorce.
A man who does not love his wife the way Christ loved the church, or a woman who does not submit to her husband the way Christ submitted to God, cannot invalidate it either.
It is time we stop using the Bible to justify our weaknesses and blaming it for our inability to do what it says.
K.B. Davies | Transformational Power™ ©2018
#TransformationalPowerPosts
#ObedienceIsUntoDeath
This is why I have a problem with those like Lori Alexander and K.B. Davies who believe that abuse is not an acceptable reason for divorce. In their minds, a victim is bound to their marriage no matter what, Even if your life is at stake.
Let’s start at the beginning of this mess. First, he states that people do not stay in abusive marriages because of their obedience to God, but for various other reasons that have nothing to do with God. Truth is, victims stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, including the sense of duty to God to not end a marriage. That is not a lie. K.B. seems to not understand the dynamics of domestic abuse.
Then he says that victims will use domestic abuse to justify divorce even though most divorces are not for this reason. Common reasons for divorce include infidelity, financial struggles, substance abuse, and incompatability. But, guess what? Abuse is also a reason why people divorce! I’m struggling to follow his logic.
Next comes a Bible verse. Let’s see where this is going:
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross! Philippians 2:8
Somehow this verse leads K.B. to surmise that a victim should not justify divorce (disobedience to God) because the spouse is being disobedient to God by abusing. I’m assuming this is his “two wrongs don’t make a right” argument.
The final kicker in K.B.’s statement is that regardless of how far violence progresses in a relationship, a victim is still bound to the marriage, even if death is imminent. This is because he believes God values the institute of marriage over the individual lives in the marriage.
Here is what K.B. Davies fails to mention: Domestic Abuse is a CRIME! Physical abuse is a crime! Sexual abuse is a crime! Emotional abuse is a crime! Homicide is a C.R.I.M.E.!
K.B. thinks that people use the Bible to justify their weaknesses. Truly it is those who try to maintain power and control that use the Bible to justify their injustices and unrighteousness on those who are suffering.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices — mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law — justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.(Matthew 23: 23 -24)
***
Spiritual Sounding Board 
Like Abusers.
Like Abusers.
Speaking of Jesus. This is not a command, nor is it referring to us at all. It’s definitely not telling you to let yourself be murdered by your husband, just because.
LikeLike
“… all they that hate me love death.” Proverbs 8:36
The devil loves murder. John 8:44
Davies wants women to submit to being murdered by their devilish husbands, if that is what the husband decides to do? Wow. And to Davies, murder of the wife is somehow a better outcome in God’s eyes than divorce? Wow, again.
This “no divorce under any circumstances” is man-made (devilish) garbage. Marriage is an earthly arrangement where promises are made on both sides. When a spouse abuses the other, he has already broken the covenant. There is no longer a marriage, but instead the relationship deteriorates into a hostage situation. But don’t count on K. B. Davies to be a hero and rescue the perishing, because he is on a bullhorn shouting to the hostage to remain in the house and submit. He’ll be happy to carry the body out after it’s all over.
LikeLike
Even death huh ? Ok no problem all the abused wives can buy a Remington 870 (entry level model $160 or pawn shop $75) and blow their abusers brains out like Mary Winkler did . Any of these deep thinkers that probably smack their own wives around ever wonder by she was convicted of lower charges and only served a few months ? Basically the jury saw her preacher hubby for what he was, a BDSM porn obsessed abusing Bastard that was constantly beating her with a belt when not forcing her to dress up like a prostitute to be sodomized. He got what he had coming. Ok even in death, no problem we can take that position if you want. A box of shells is like $10 at Walmart .
LikeLike
The thought that came to mind was the Exodus. The people of Israel were living among the Egyptians because of a “marriage” – God preserved the family of Joseph through the kindness of Pharoah. That kindness did not last, and eventually, the Egyptians were enslaving and abusing the Israelites.
What was God’s answer? Divorce. God forcibly separated the Israelites from the Egyptians, and even scorned them for longing to return to slavery and abuse when times were difficult.
The voice of the K.B.’s of the world is the voice of the Egyptians.
Re: Remington, it’s interesting that Moses is essentially commended for his action of killing the Egyptian who was abusing the Israelites. It was the Israelites who didn’t understand that God was using Moses to free them from the abusive marriage. (Acts 7:24-) They were then punished for the first 40 year period, while Moses fled.
LikeLike
K.B.Davies is really worried that his own Widdle Winsome Wifey would bail out on him if she got half a chance, isn’t he?
LikeLike
Just imagine what he tells clients during his spiritual coaching sessions…
LikeLike
Well, HUG, with an attitude like his, I can’t imagine that Davies could get — or keep — a woman in his life any other way.
LikeLike
Except by coercion, that is. And coercion by Bible, no less.
LikeLike
I looked up his profile, and assuming I have the right K B Davies:
“Transformational Power is a self-help, self-development and spiritual growth resource that helps individuals achieve their potential and exceed their dreams.
My passion is to inspire, motivate, challenge and transform people into the best version of themselves, and into a greatness ordained and empowered by the Divine Creator.
I believe in “Spiritual Capital” – the innate resource we are all endowed with, which enables us to accomplish great things. This is not about Religion, but about God, Spirituality, and a connection back to our true state and essence.
At Transformational Power, we do not improve people. We transform them.”
Note the emphasis on self help, which is nothing to do with Christianity. Loving your neighbour is absent.
It’s more about name it and claim it and visualisation. A bit New Agey. And who does the transforming? “We” do.
Is this Facebook quote at the top little more than a man preying on the most vulnerable with promises of ‘transformation’ even in the most threatening of circumstances? It’s very easy for him to talk like this when he doesn’t have to deal with the tragedies his careless talk can cause.
LikeLike
K.B. Davies has lots of lovely posts about how rape cannot occur in Christian marriages as well as divorce is not an option for any reason.
I’m going to post some other lovely thoughts of his on Facebook, so I apologize in advance for filling this thread.
LikeLike
At least it’s not only women who are not allowed to divorce their spouses.
LikeLike
LikeLike
And, this is one of my favorites:
LikeLike
Grounds is … adultery and sexual immorality? I don’t think he has given this much thought …
LikeLike
Oh my word. Does this guy even read more than 3 verses in the Bible??? If the most important “truth” in the Bible is “marriage is forever no matter what” then why did God divorce Israel? Why did God have Moses allow for divorce in the law (for reasons of hard hearts)? Why did God command the Israelites to divorce their pagan wives and send them back home? Why does God tell us to set the oppressed free? Why does this guy think he can trump the words of Jesus and say that adultery is not permission for divorce after all? I think this is a case of OCD and it’s time to read the rest of the Bible. Like maybe a few verses on love, compassion, mercy, justice, the laws of the land are given for our protection, etc.
LikeLike
Does Davies and Alexander realize how close they are to fundamentalist Islam?
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was one of my favourites from his blog: Are you a WITCH? Wow, I work with a hold bunch of witches (people who do not believe in God) and I never realised. However, I must point out that men can not be witches, it is a term that only refers to women. This man is MADE
“ANYONE (male or female) who contends with the Truth of God is a “witch”. ANYONE who rejects His word or argues against it, is a witch. And ANYONE who rebels against His commandments, principles and tenets is also a witch.”
https://transformationalpower.wordpress.com/2017/11/24/690/
LikeLiked by 1 person
In the OP, The logic is pretty faulty.
Because, say, 99% of people abuse “X” to justify “Z,” that means that 1% who are not abusing “X” to solve problem “Z” should not do it, or “X” should be made illegal? That does not necessarily follow.
And, these people who teach this garbage as part and parcel of Gender Complementarianism, Biblical Womanhood, Patriarchy, or whatever label they go under – but they all claim it’s in the Bible – are making marriage look bad.
Why would any Christian woman want to marry a complementarian man, knowing if he’s a perv or an abuser, the Lori Alexanders of the world would tell her she must stay trapped in the marriage, she will not receive any help (no money for a hotel room to stay in to escape to), etc.?
At the same time, many of the Christians promoting this gender role trash also freak out over declining marriage rates.
I think staying single, or maybe co-habitating with a Non-Christian man looks like a much better and safer alternative, not just for Christian women, but for Non-Christian ones, too.
LikeLike
Jo said, (quoting some sexist fruit cake – is this by K B Davies?),
These guys also confuse their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself, or their interpretation of the Bible with disagreeing with God himself. It’s laughable how arrogant they are.
Very relevant:
_God Said It?_ – from Women In Ministry blog
LikeLike
Re:
The Bible is silent on this issue.
Christians should not pronounce edicts, doctrines, and rules where the Bible is silent. (e.g., Romans 14: 5 – 6, Romans 14:23.)
(The “Onan” passage is about not carrying on a biblical or cultural imperative to get your dead brother’s wife pregnant, it is not condemning masturbation for other reasons.)
LikeLike
Re:
The Bible doesn’t say that. There are actually counter examples in the Bible, where someone disobeyed God, or a rule of God… and God forgave them.
In some cases, God did allow negative consequences, but he did not kill the person.
David and Bathsheba – David got the lady’s husband killed – God then permitted David’s baby to die, but he did not kill David.
The Pharisees complained that Jesus’ disciples ate heads of grain on the Sabbath, or violated some rule, and Jesus said it was okay, had they not read in the OT where David and his men at the bread in the Temple, and God was fine with that?
Jesus healed the sick woman on the Sabbath, which the Pharisees said was wrong. Jesus said healing a woman was more important than following religious rules.
The woman caught in adultery story – Jesus could’ve thrown a stone at her but he said he did not condemn her, go and sin no more.
I could go on and on, but there are examples in the Bible where someone sinned, and God forgave them.
There was a story online a few years ago about one of these Christian Reconstructionists who advocated for death by stoning for adulterers… until a year or more later, it was publicized that he himself had an affair.
When he was caught, he changed his opinion.
These K B Davies type of guys LOVE the Law and punishment, until the same rules are applied to them, then they turn tail and beg for grace and forgiveness.
LikeLike
K B said,
Considering the high divorce rates among Christians in the USA, isn’t this a moot point?
A lot of Christians are choosing to divorce for any number of reasons, regardless of what K B Davies says or thinks.
LikeLike
OP:
That verse is about Jesus and his atonement. Only Jesus is the sinless God-Man who was sent to fulfill these prophecies.
Nobody else could fulfill those prophecies. To apply one of the Messianic – salvation type passages to ordinary Christians is a gross misuse of the text.
Trying to apply a verse about Jesus’ role as Savior to marriage is just a wrong application.
Also, prior to this, Jesus prayed and asked God to “remove this cup from me.” Jesus didn’t just trot out eagerly to die on the cross. He wanted a way out of it, if possible – but there was no other way for God to reconcile the world to himself.
That is a different situation from women in abusive marriages, because women can leave and/or divorce an abuser.
At one point, didn’t Paul tell someone at a church to use their Roman citizen ship status to seek their freedom (or he did that for himself)?
The Bible sends a message that if you can get out of a horrible situation, go ahead and try to do so, God is fine with that.
OP:
If it were true that God values marriage to anyone or anything else, why does the Bible say in 1 Cor 7 it is better to remain single?
If God values marriage as much as this sexist (Davies) thinks God does, to this absurd degree, there wouldn’t be statements in the Bible saying that singleness is preferable to marriage, but such verses do exist.
LikeLike
Song of Joy said,
I have a question or concern here but don’t know how to express it. Or maybe I’m just re-stating what you said, I don’t know…
Is Davies aware that in all fifty states of the United States, that if a husband murders his wife, the secular authorities consider that wrong?
In the United States, a husband murdering his wife is illegal, and the husband will go to jail if the legal system can prove he’s the killer.
Why would Davies encourage women to stay in a situation, where they could be murdered, that the state prosecutes for?
Is Davis okay with such a man getting 25 or more years for the murder of his wife, or the death penalty for the murder of his wife?
That courts will prosecute a man who is shown to have murdered his wife, and put that man in jail or the gas chamber, shows that our secular courts have more integrity, empathy, and morals than the “Christian” K. B. Davies. The courts look more “godly” and “Christian” than Davies.
LikeLike
scot said,
Good points.
There was a Farah Fawcett movie about Domestic Violence many years ago, I believe it was called “The Burning Bed.”
I recall watching it once when I was a kid. My memory about it is hazy, but IIRC, it was one of the first mainstream media to publicize DV, so it got a lot of attention at the time.
Well, if I remember right, the Fawcett character got so tired of being abused by her husband, that after so many years, when he was passed out in bed, she tied him in place, poured gas on him, and burned him alive, killing him. It was based on a true story.
LikeLike
Re: one of the KB Davies memes Kathi posted above, the one that says only adultery is grounds for divorce, not abuse.
Do these type of Christians never stop to think about what they’re saying, and how it makes no sense?
They are essentially arguing that adultery is far worse than other things, such as physically assaulting someone, or murdering someone, or verbally tormenting them day in and day out until they’re driven to depression.
It would make no sense for a deity to tell people,
“Sure you can divorce if your spouse humps someone else, but under no circumstance will I allow you to divorce over physical violence!”
But that is precisely the kind of doofus, moronic God K B Davies says he believes in.
LikeLike
I think this is the thread winner!
(by Muff Potter):
LikeLike
“Emotional abuse is a crime!”
Serious question, Kathi; is this true in some jurisdictions?
LikeLike
NJ – This is in the Oregon Statute: “Intentionally, knowingly or recklessly placing another in fear of imminent serious physical injury.” https://www.oregonlaws.org/ors/135.230
A victim’s fear of imminent serious physical injury can fall under emotional abuse.
LikeLike
I suppose that is an example of emotional abuse, albeit tied in with physical abuse. In my experience, when people mention emotional abuse they’re referring to some sort of verbal abuse, which isn’t always legally actionable. To prove emotional abuse would take some rigorous documentation, and even then too many courts would not see it as something very serious.
LikeLike
NJ – Fear and intimidation is part of emotional abuse. You might see this through texts, emails, voice mails, phone calls, and stalking behavior. Police and courts will take these into account for arrest and restraining orders.
Other parts of emotional abuse such as belittling, isolation, gaslighting, accusations, controlling behavior, withholding affection, etc. on its own is more difficult as a stand alone offense. Usually there is emotional abuse tied into physical, financial, and sexual abuse.
LikeLike