The Power of a Transformed Wife: Lori Alexander, Keeping a Tidy Household
-by Kathi
This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.
Introduction & Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 – Part 1 Chapter 8 – Part 2 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15
****
Chapter 16 – Clutter No More
Lori devotes a lot of space on her blogs talking about keeping a tidy home and decluttering. To me, this chapter doesn’t offer much to her book and is only taking up space. I guess it helped provide pages to the book.
Of the nine Kindle pages in this chapter, six are rewrites taken from Erin Harrison of Keeper of the Homestead. Lori states that if you want to learn to keep a tidy home, go to Erin’s blog and learn from her. Really? Six pages – 67% – of this chapter are not Lori’s words. So, what actual advice does Lori give?
First, she shows us that everyone’s home must be in either one of two states of being. Either your home must be so clean that you can eat off the floor, or you have so much in your home that you are a hoarder. There is no in between that the majority of people live in. Lori’s experience with hoarding boils down to the TV show and:
I once visited a woman I knew who wasn’t quite a major-league hoarder but she was close to being called up from the minors to the majors. I remember having to walk through tiny rows from room to room because there was so much stuff piled up high. I involuntarily shuddered…living like that would make me depressed. I like as little clutter as possible and plenty of free, open space. I even love an empty drawer or two!
This isn’t the first time Lori has talked about hoarders. I find her to be callous in her talk about people who hoard. She doesn’t understand that there is a reason behind hoarding. Hoarding is a mental disorder that may cause anxiety, loneliness, depression, or withdrawal from relationships and community. I have watched several episodes of Hoarders and while I understand it is reality TV and much is edited, I have found the therapists that work with the individual and families to be extremely compassionate and caring.
The only other advice that Lori gives is that if you haven’t used something in a year (especially clothing), get rid of it. Everything in life is going to burn up anyway, so why have so much stuff? And, buy the book, Clutter’s Last Stand: It’s Time to De-Junk Your Life! by Don Aslett.
Seriously. That’s it. That’s all Lori offers in this chapter. I think Lori could have decluttered her book by taking this chapter out.
She ends with an old blog post stating:
Since I know that stuff rusts, falls out of fashion, or is surpassed by the 2.0 version, I have no problem letting it go. I like giving away my old stuff. Maybe someone else can get some use out of those items. This confirms, as [sic] least to me, why there’s no reason to hoard or think about how much stuff you can accumulate. It’s all going to burn.
Honestly, I don’t think Lori could look past the piles to help a person talk about real problems because she would simply say, “If I can get rid of stuff, so can you.”
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.
Spiritual Sounding Board 
Lori seriously has no idea.
The fact that she shuddered in the hoarder’s home rather than think, “what trauma has this person been through that is causing them to be this way?” says it all. Same with over eaters. It’s so easy to judge when we have no idea what they’re going through.
I feel like Lori’s entire ‘ministry’ is to pick on people she deems haven’t got their lives together in a way that satisfies her.
She is judgmental in the worst way possible.
When does she ever write about the Lord and his mercy? His patience and kindness?
No. It’s all about women who are failing to be what Lori thinks is right and good.
She’s gonna have some answering to do on judgment day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
From yesterday’s thread about Louise Turpin:
Lori “Serena Joy” Alexander is the Fantasy.
Louise Turpin is the Reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lori may not have “clutter.” The size of her McMansion and endless time to rearrange her physical possessions must be helpful. However she doesn’t sound like a minimalist. From other stuff she has written she sounds very materialistic. So her statement that possessions don’t matter doesn’t ring true.
She isn’t living in a 10 x 15 shed on Walden Pond after all. Thoreau, who led a Spartan life by choice, knew what he was talking about when he decried materialism and excess. He put his money where his mouth was.
LikeLike
@RachelNichols:
Does she have Servants?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope her Servants are all mechanical so they can’t get hurt. I’m sure on Ken’s salary she can afford some very nice ones.
I don’t blame Lori for staying home with her kids. My brother earns $250,000 a year and being a housewife seems to make his wife very happy. But some mothers don’t have that luxury. They don’t deserve blanket condemnation.
The Proverbs 31 woman had at least 3 streams of income from part time work. Before the internet! She left the home to deal in real estate, plant vineyards (husky woman!) and help the poor. And her husband was proud of it. 🙂
I’m looking to work at home. Even without a family that seems like a good option. Good for my car free lifestyle.
LikeLike
If I ever do get around to getting married, I’m using my salary to get a maid.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lori has a very comfortable life, and I don’t think she understands the reality of how some people live. I have worked in poor communities where families of 5 live in one bedroom of a two bedroom apartment, and another family inhabits the second bedroom. Add one small kitchen, bathroom, and living room, and it’s hard to keep the place clean. It’s hard to always have clean clothes if you only have one or two sets, and you use the coin-op laundromat.
Many modern hoarders have roots in poverty where they never had enough, so they save everything, even when they have an abundance. They need compassion and help. Sometimes the help needs to be firm, but they still need assistance.
It just bugs me when people who “appear” to have no problems (I think Lori has many) give you a list of tasks and say ‘this will help solve all your issues.” I have never found it to be that simple., and life is not lived by the lists you keep.
LikeLike
@HUG
“Does she have Servants?”
One of the things that slowly dawned on me at my former cult was how most of us “lower caste” quiverfull moms were expected to clean our homes, care for and educate our children, grow and preserve our own food, strive to do as many of these things the low tech way, i.e., cloth diapers, washing dishes by hand, etc., be on call to participate in serving church needs such as cleaning the sanctuary or church offices, and making certain that you and your children were a model of submission to the husband/father and the church ministers.
The elder’s wives and home group minister’s wives? They often had 3 or 4 young ladies at their beck and call to clean,cook, babysit, teach kids, run errands, etc., while at the same time advising the rest of us on how to fulfill our duties. eyeroll
LikeLike
@Linn:
Once more, Serena Joy lectures the Handmaids.
@BTDT:
i.e. Servants (if not Handmaids).
(I shouldn’t have read that collection of New Orleans ghost stories. Now I’m free-associating about Madame La Laurie and that other one about the senile Creole woman giving orders to her nonexistent servants – “If she breaks anything, she shall have hot irons thrust up her nose; If a single napkin is out-of-place, she shall have lye poured in her ears…”)
LikeLike
HUG–What collection of New Orleans ghost stories? Name and author please.
LikeLike
Homes are for living in, not looking at.
Providing you cannot write your name in the dust, why does everything have to be spick and span all the time? When the offspring arrive, they will turn the most beautiful home into a tip anyway! They don’t even need to read a book on how to do this either …. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why even have drawers Lori? You’re just hoarding emptiness!
LikeLike
“Everything is going to burn up anyway”
I think this is a theological error that leads to really bad consequences. For Lori, again, it’s a trite excuse to justify keeping landfills in business, but for the people she advises, it’s an excuse to submit to horrific abuse – stay with your abusive husband because the abuse is temporary, but Heaven is forever.
One thing I appreciate about my new church is that the pastor is very Kuyperian (I think it’s Kuyper). That is that we are here to bring Heaven to Earth, not to bring Earth to Heaven. (Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven). And that means that our brief existence on Earth shouldn’t be about whiling away the hours and pining for Heaven. Instead, we should be actively working to bring about change for the good here on Earth. So much of Fundamentalism is about being a persecuted hermit and bringing condemnation and Hell to the world.
LikeLike
I have avoided a lot of Lori’s “problems” by remaining celibate; no hubby or kids. This allows me more time to pray, study and volunteer. I can choose to live on $12,000 a year with no kids to dress in name brand clothes. My efficiency needs a little cleaning–but only myself to pick up after. Demanding that all women marry ad have kids is foolish since some of us serve God better without families to worry about.
Motherhood is great! But with the population boom I see no problem for those of us who choose a more monastic lifestyle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lea, if you hire professional cleaners don’t go through an agency. Hire freelancers who will take home the whole payment minus overhead. Often those who work for agencies barely make minimum wage off the $20 an hour you pay them.
Agencies care less about actual cleanliness than spritzing scented air freshener around too.
LikeLike
@Lea – “Why even have drawers Lori? You’re just hoarding emptiness!”
Good point!
You know, I have nothing against decluttering. We recently went through everything in the garage because we had rats visiting. We had boxes in there that were still packed from our move 20 years ago – we’ve been in our house 16 years and never opened them. We did a major haul to Goodwill and it was great getting rid of things. I plan on going through all the closets this spring.
However, we have papers on our counter, on our table, and in drawers. I usually go through those at different points in time. We have three people in our house who work full-time and one in school who works part-time. Our house is lived in and comfortable.
The problem with Lori is that she is so black and white. I would never want her visiting my house because I would think she criticizing in her head. Not that I would care, but it certainly wouldn’t be a pleasant visit.
LikeLike
@NancyJane:
I’ll have to check and get back to you on that.
LikeLike
Drill, baby, Drill;
Frack, baby, Frack;
It’s All Gonna Burn.
LikeLike
Lori needs to chill.
“But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.””
Luke 10:40-41 NLT
As a side note, two of my favorite people were William F. Buckley and Andy Rooney. Both would have driven Lori crazy as they were famous for their cluttered desks. It may have been Rooney who said “A clean desk is the sign of a sick mind!”
https://goo.gl/images/ML8jCm
I say live and let live.
LikeLiked by 2 people
@NancyJane:
GHOST STORIES OF OLD NEW ORLEANS by Jeanne deLavigne.
Just search on the title at Amazon or Alibris.
LikeLike
Kathi – “I plan on going through all the closets this spring.”
Would one like help with the west wing, the east wing, the green room, the annex, the servants’ quarters, the old forge, the former stable block and the orangery? Many mansions or just the one?
LikeLike
Ran across this short short story in the New Yorker. Free download. Aside for a couple swears the narrator could be the “transformed wife” Lori idolizes.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/im-so-sorry-my-house-isnt-clean-enough-to-effectively-shame-you
LikeLike
Rachel – That was good! I fixed the link because it was all the way on there.
LikeLike