The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Control, Submission
This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.
Chapter 4 – Allow Him to Lead
I have been warned about the poor editing job of this book. It is starting to show in this chapter. Lori jumps around from topic to topic which starts to make this book seem more like a mismatch of ideas. The reality is, there are no new ideas from Lori in this book. You can read either of her blogs, or Debi Pearl’s book, and find the same ideas. That being said, I’ll try to keep to the main points and not drag you through the rabbit trail.
This chapter starts off with a clear picture of what Lori teaches, which should come to no surprise to anyone.
Scripture paints a clear and perfect picture of the God-ordained roles and behaviors assigned to each spouse in marriage; for the husband to be the head of the wife, and the wife to obey and submit to her husband in everything.
There is a line, however, for Lori. If your husband wants you to sin then you should not participate. Lori gives examples such as sex parties, watching pornography, stealing, cheating, swinging, taking drugs, or having him drive drunk. She encourages women to seek help from authorities, family, or elders, when needed, if your husband is wanting you to sin. Notice how Lori does not encourage women to seek assistance when she is experiencing abuse. Based upon her other writings, I am left to assume that she does not view abuse as a sin.
Lori then makes a huge leap to discuss how men use logical reasoning in decision-making as opposed to women who rely upon their emotions. Then there is talk about the different testosterone levels between men and women. Why? She continues about how men have harder bodies and women have softer, curvier bodies. What? If this is to strengthen her argument for why men should lead, I’m still not convinced. Oh, then there’s the jump on how women are to joyfully submit. Eye roll. This chapter really is a mess.
Lori then poses this question:
But he wants me to work when I have children. He says we need the income, so what am I supposed to do?
Her answer is to work, but to continue to talk to your husband about how scripture wants mothers to stay home. I find Lori to be very contradictory in her teaching. If women are supposed to follow their husbands lead and be submissive in everything, then why would a wife try to convince her husband otherwise? It can’t be both ways, Lori. Either a wife submits or she does not submit.
Lori then jumps again to how a wife is to adorn herself (seriously?) before she finally lands on how horrible mutual submission is. Lori cannot fathom mutual submission because someone has to make a final decision! She uses her marriage as an example of how she and Ken fought for 23 years and nothing got accomplished. There was finally peace in the household when she learned she shouldn’t argue with Ken and allow him to lead her according to what he thinks is in her best interest. Really? Lori admitted that she didn’t even really like Ken when she agreed to marry him, so why did she even bother? She could have saved herself 23 years of annoying arguing.
Lori ends with another blog post in which she states she is “baffled” with egalitarian marriages. Apparently in Egalitarianland, husbands are always miserable with their controlling wives. Given that Lori is contradictory in her own teaching, mutual submission sounds a lot easier to manage than a complementarian marriage.