Book Review Series, Complementarianism, Doctrine as Idol, Egalitarianism, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Gender Roles, Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Uncategorized, Working Women

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Why Lori Does What She Does

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Mentoring, Titus 2


girl-1940244_1280
It doesn’t matter if a woman works outside the home or stays home and raises children. She will always have to juggle time.

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1

***

When my husband asked me what I have been writing about I answered, “I’m learning how to become the wife you always wanted me to be.” He rolled his eyes and went back to drying the dishes.

Chapter Two – Why I Mentor Women

Lori states that she has been mentoring women for over ten years. She has mentored women who have dealt with the following issues:

I have mentored women whose husbands were having affairs, drinking way too much, deeply addicted to pornography, lazy and not working, never home due to work, not interested in God, or were absent fathers to their children.

Do you see what I see in this list? All of these issues deal with a husband’s actions. Now, I understand that a wife may seek advice on what to do or how to handle these types of situations with her husband, but, shouldn’t it be the husband who is mentored? If my husband is drinking way too much, that is not my fault. I would not expect someone to mentor me on how to be a better wife to help him not drink more. I would expect someone to mentor him on how to deal with his alcohol addiction.

But, no, Lori finds her life calling in Titus 2: 3-5:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (KJV)

Lori offers a “state of women” today indicating that the majority of women have never been taught the principles of Titus 2: 3-5. They grew up with parents that portrayed poor marriages or were divorced. (Wait a minute! Lori stated in Chapter One that her parents did not have a happy marriage and she and Ken started off in a bad marriage. How are they any different than women today?)

She says women are encouraged to go to college, take out loans, and get a career. Then, they’re encouraged to live life before being tied down to a husband and children. When they have all the children they care to have, they’re encouraged to have surgery to not have any more so they can afford a fancy kitchen.

Ummmm, Lori, where are all of your studies on your “state of women” to support your words? No where? How convenient. This is typical Lori talk – make blanket statements about women today and show no evidence to support your argument. By the way, I’ve had all the children I care to have and I’m still waiting for that fancy kitchen.

Without using the word, Lori believes in complementary gender roles between husband and wife as well as the role of women in the church. She laments that some couples dare to share tasks in caring for the home. GASP! Not that! And, of course, feminism does not work because women will never be the same as men. Yet she argues that God loves men and women equally. Does that mean God is a feminist?

Lori’s experience is that when she counsels women to become submissive keepers of the home, they are suddenly joyful and can’t believe the lies of feminism that they fell for. Lori also states that she has personally witnessed women lead their husband to the Lord when they change their attitudes to a gentle and quiet spirit. Did Lori question the salvation of the husband like she did of her high school boyfriends?

Lori starts to close out this chapter with a quote by John MacArthur. Lori does not cite her quote, which is not a surprise. Lori is a college-educated teacher and she does not cite quotes in her book or on her blog. That really is mind-boggling to me. In essence, the quote talks about how it is best for women to accept what her husband’s salary provides in order to stay home and raise her children.

The final ending of this chapter is a quote from one of Lori’s blog posts which offers quotes by sisters, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkins. She then wonders why women work outside the home and are continually exhausted when there is so much to do at home. It must be exhausting to worry about women who are exhausted.

My final take on this chapter is that I don’t find it quite as obvious as Lori does that women need mentoring in regard to their role in life. Forgive me if I say this often during this series: it is not always possible for women to stay home with their children in the United States. It certainly is not necessarily a norm for women around the world either. Also, Lori could have picked a better example than the Botkins sisters who are in their 30s, not married, and are still living at home where their expenses are paid for by their parents.

Photo courtesy of Pixabay.

70 thoughts on “Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Why Lori Does What She Does”

  1. It always makes me chuckle to read the old canard that traditionally women stayed at home. I lived and worked for a while in a primarily Islamic and very traditional culture in a developing country. The vast majority of the women – and nearly every woman was married, due the belief in Islam that a woman’s chance of salvation lies in her husband’s prayers – worked in some way outside the home, gardening, peddling in the market, cleaning wealthier peoples homes, gleaning, etc, with the more educated ones doing office work or teaching or nursing or even being in the police force or the army. Some lived apart from their husbands in order to work, as the practice of polygamy often means that a woman must support her own children, as the husband can only give minimal support to all his wives. In addition to their jobs, the women did their own laundry by hand, carried huge containers of water from the community wells, and chopped their own wood for their cooking fires. They had lots of children, and often could be seen walking with a load of water or wood on their heads and a baby tied to their backs, or breastfeeding them while they sat in the marketplace. My working class ancestors didn’t have the luxury of the women not working outside the home either. When we think of Victorian women staying at home, we are thinking of the upper classes, not the working class, who made up the majority of the population.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. I grew up in an imperfect home (like most of us), but I learned a great deal of responsibility because both of my parents worked. I was proud of my ability to do household chores, make dinner, run errands, and get places on my own by bus. In my family we all contributed to home upkeep. I think that’s healthy for every family! I feel sorry for families where dad and children are waited on hand and foot. The real world just doesn’t work that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If you can’t apply a teaching to all cultures across the globe throughout time, then it is only a preference or a practice, not a biblical principle. But if everyone has to follow this, then I guess the point of Christianity is for everyone to be middle class and up Americans. Doesn’t the propagation of a privileged socioeconomic lifestyle sound like a version of the prosperity gospel minus the Learjet?

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Where I live, if you want to stay in the middle-class, you must have two incomes in high-paying professions. We have many low-income families in my area who are struggling to get by with two incomes, including as much overtime as they can get.

    I often wonder what planet Lori A lives on.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Both of my grandmothers were traditional stay at home wives, rural Kentucky style. They stayed at home sewing, cooking, gardening, canning, doing the laundry with a washboard, cleaning home-raised chickens and wild game to eat, rendering lard, tending the fires in the smoke houses and tobacco barns, milking cows, feeding hogs, fixing fences, putting the gear on the mules, picking corn by hand, hoeing – cutting- spiking-stripping tobacco, clearing brush out of fence rows, killing snakes with their grubbing hoes, splitting the wood they used to heat their homes, shoveling manure out of the stables…………

    If Lori thinks she’s got what it takes to be a real stay-at-home wife, tell her to brang it on! If she needs some lessons, I’ll show ‘er how it’s done…….. doubt that she’ll last long…….
    IMO, Lori is just a lazy, whiney crybaby who’s trying to justify her behavior.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Nancy2 – I love your grandmothers! They knew how to work!

    For what it’s worth, I think the regular readers here will already know this, but for our new readers….I am not against stay-at-home moms. I stayed home with my kids for 10 years and homeschooled. I’m not against stay-at-home dads either. I think that’s awesome! If one parent staying home to raise children is doable for the family, and all are in agreement, then by all means go for it! What I am against is the argument that this is the only way that a family can operate and that a mother who works outside the home is less of a Christian. What works for one family doesn’t work for all families.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Nancy2, I love your account of your grandmother’s in rural Kentucky.

    My great-grandmother was a Scotch immigrant, and she raised three children by herself (including part of the timespan of the great depression) by cleaning houses for the wealthy. She lost her husband in a tragic accident.

    One of my other great-grandmothers was a pastor’s wife, and she marched in the streets to help women get the right to vote. Child care? No problem. She took her daughter with her.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Why Lori Does What She Does

    That title triggered me onto a My Little Pony filksong of a few years ago (about a sociopathic high-fashion photographer):

    She Do What She Do
    To Make You More Than You
    No Pony Gonna Care
    If What She Say Is True!”
    — Mandopony, “Picture Perfect Pony”

    Like

  9. IMO, Lori is just a lazy, whiney crybaby who’s trying to justify her behavior.

    I forget if it was in the other thread or elsewhere (amazon maybe?), but someone was saying that Lori had a nanny when her kids were young and all references to this on her blog were deleted!

    Like

  10. One needs either lots of good wine or lots of fine chocolate to get through anything written by Lori Alexander. Or maybe even both!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. @Kathi
    I have no problem with stay at home moms, either. I was a 7-12 school teacher, and hats off to moms who try to tackle all of the subjects, k-12. And, I understand that if a family has several children, a working mom could be a financial disadvantage.
    LA and her master trying to tell all women how to live get on my every last nerve, though! Better welfare than a working mom????

    Liked by 1 person

  12. “My great-grandmother was a Scotch immigrant, and she raised three children by herself (including part of the timespan of the great depression) by cleaning houses for the wealthy. She lost her husband in a tragic accident.”

    My mom’s family is Scottish. ….. came here in the mid 1700s and settled in the Eastern Coal fields of Kentucky. My mom named me after my gg-grandmother, Nancy. I remember her clearly.
    She was a cook for the coal mine camp where she met her first husband (my gg-father) She lost her first husband and oldest son at the same time in a coal mine cave-in. She lived to bury 3 more husbands …. the Great Depression, and the Kentucky Coal wars. Ah, but she was never a quitter! The last time I saw her before she died, we think she was at least 109 (she did the lady-like thing of her era and lied about her age) and living alone next door to my g-grandmother and g-grandfather ….. picking green beans from her own garden to dry on strings, and spitting tobacco chaw!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Headless Unicorn Guy-Yes, that is the same woman. She use to blog under the blog name Always Learning. She recently changed it to Transformed Wife. She often contradicts herself and rarely supports her opinions with facts. She will not publish any reader’s comments if they question her position. She worships Michael and Debi Pearl. She is adamant about wives and mothers not working, even if their spouse is disabled or dead. Her response to mothers with no income is: “All things are possible with God.” She show no empathy or common sense when responding to women in desperate situations. I hurt for the young women who follow her nonsense.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Women get bored at home. Being in the workforce, for many women, is much more exciting and fulfilling for them than being home cooking, cleaning, shopping, raising children, etc. Therefore, Satan created lies for women to believe and drove women out of their homes, thus destroying the family unit. -from the article Kathi linked.

    Wow!

    Satan apparently created lies like ‘bills’. Get thee behind me satan (and also Wells Fargo, the electric company, etc).

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Did you read ‘is an egalitarian marriage the truth’???

    First of all, oh that title!

    Second “It is always fun to find a marriage that is loving and working. But the Christian misses the point of what God is trying to do in this world if they are determining their choice of marriage model based on what works”

    It’s so much better for stuff not to work, isn’t it? Such magical thinking here. God ‘says its best’ so it doesn’t matter if it works? That’s what she’s saying?

    Also, this is bonkers: “egalitarian marriage demands no deep connections, no vulnerability, no intimacy”

    That’s’ what a patriarchal marriage requires. No deep connections possible to me if it’s all ‘do what bob says whether you like it or not and stuff your feelings deep inside’. How can you be vulnerable with someone who is just going to shut you down? Lori doesn’t say to be vulnerable. She says to be docile.

    And then she says this: “To treat each other with respect and with love and equality, but such a marriage is second best to what God has designed for us. “

    I. Can’t. Even.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Our sermon on Sunday was about the Pharisee and the Tax Collector praying on the steps of the Temple. It was a very interesting and informative message and it certainly made me think of Lori. Our minister told us that there wasn’t anything wrong with the way the Pharisee’s prayed as it was very similar to how David prayed in the Psalms and we do not take issue with his prayers. However, what was wrong is that the Pharisee took his eyes of God and began to look around and find fault with others. This is what Lori does. Instead of focusing on God she focuses on how good she is by finding fault with anyone who does not meet her standard of what is right or wrong and then she uses Scripture to justify her position.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. @Ann:

    She is adamant about wives and mothers not working, even if their spouse is disabled or dead. Her response to mothers with no income is: “All things are possible with God.” She show no empathy or common sense when responding to women in desperate situations.

    i.e. QUEEN BEE BY DIVINE RIGHT.

    Like

  18. @Lea:
    When you find yourself on a blog with many other “Kens” (some of which are real pieces of work), you have to distinguish/distance yourself somehow.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Aside from the actual content of Lori’s teaching (and others like her), I don’t understand why she insists that young wives need to be mentored by her regarding their “role” as a wife.

    I am not a perfect wife because I am not a perfect person. Sometimes I am selfish. Sometimes I take up an unfair share of the couch. Sometimes I hog the blankets on a cold night. Sometimes I say things that are unkind or unthoughtful. Sometimes I sit there and hope that my husband will answer the phone so I don’t have to.

    The thing is, none of these behaviors are marriage specific or gender specific. Rather, they are behaviors that stem from human nature. So if I want to be a better wife, I need to become more like Jesus, not more like LA and her type.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I would love to see LA move to Southern Kentucky and “mentor” some women at Ft. Campbell ~~~ maybe the female Sgt. I saw guarding one of the buildings with her firearm and bullet proof vest. ~~~ or some of the wives whose husbands are deployed more than they are at home …….

    Liked by 3 people

  21. To the wary witness-Many of Lori’s readers have questioned her purpose in using herself as an example for younger woman. Her go to response is ALWAYs, ” I am only teaching what God says, not my opinion.”
    Of course she deceived herself as well as others. She often gives her own opinion, including gossip about others, then attributes it all to God. I think she gets God’s ways and her ways mixed up. For example, she recently posted a selfie of herself in a new $70.00 denim skirt that falls above her knees. As an almost 60 year old women who teaches frugality and modestly to mainly young homeschoolers of modest means, $70.00 is not frugal when trying to raise a bunch of kids on one income. She is quick to point out “immodest” clothing on others, but uses her own standard to judge others. (Many homeschoolers would consider her skirt immodest).
    Of course she would never graciously consider another woman’s opinion on modest apparel and I don’t see any verses in the Bible about hem length. Her poor daughters!
    Thanks Kathi for indulging your readers in examples of poor mentoring!!

    Liked by 4 people

  22. OP:

    Lori offers a “state of women” today indicating that the majority of women have never been taught the principles of Titus 2: 3-5. They grew up with parents that portrayed poor marriages or were divorced. (Wait a minute! Lori stated in Chapter One that her parents did not have a happy marriage and she and Ken started off in a bad marriage. How are they any different than women today?)

    Nope, Lori. My parents believed in traditional gender roles and were never divorced –

    And I still discovered later in life what absolute bunk gender complementariainsm and Christian patriarchalism is.

    I wrote about it in posts on my blog such as:
    Basic Overview of Codependency – And How Some Christians Misunderstand or Misrepresent Codependency

    Like

  23. Where Lori says,

    She says women are encouraged to go to college, take out loans, and get a career. Then, they’re encouraged to live life before being tied down to a husband and children.
    When they have all the children they care to have, they’re encouraged to have surgery to not have any more so they can afford a fancy kitchen.

    I’m not sure that it’s a case of “women are encouraged to” so much as that is simply the state of the culture. It was sort of like that when I was in my teens and 20s.

    Young women simply did not get married fresh out of high school or in their early 20s. That was just the state of the culture, not that people ran around telling me in my younger years that I should say no to marriage and go career-wise first.

    By the way. Based on articles I’ve seen in the last few years, there are not many eligible men to marry, even should a woman want to marry.

    It’s really bad with the millennials, according to the research I’ve seen. Many articles say that a lot of millennial men don’t want to marry or cannot – some of them are not employed and can’t gain employment. Some of them are simply not interested in getting married.

    But Lori blames women for not marrying, when that is either due to the men, or it’s neither gender to blame, just the state of the change of our culture, something that men or women have no control over.

    It was bad for me (Gen X) growing up, and other women my age who were marriage-minded but are still single into our 40s. I had wanted to be married (but only after completing college first), but no matter what church I went to, there were never any Christian males my age in attendance.

    Just because a Christian woman WANTS to be married, or someone like Lori Alexander guilt trips a woman to marry, does not mean there are any men out there for her to marry!! This is one reality that singles-shamers and marriage-idolaters and marriage-pushers such as Lori A. and Al Mohler and other Christians seldom recognize.

    Liked by 3 people

  24. Here’s a few links about why so many women are remaining single, even though they may want to marry (and some related stuff):

    Over 10 Million Men of Prime Working Age Are Unemployed in the US and Experts Think It’s Causing Declining Marriage Rates -Christian Post

    What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis – TIME magazine online

    How the Dating Scene Became Stacked Against Women – Christianity Today

    Sorry, ladies, there really is a man shortage – New York Post

    Why 25% of Millennials Will Never Marry – TIME magazine

    The number of Americans who have always been single and will never marry is at a historic high, says a new Pew Research report, partly because they don’t have jobs and partly because marriage is becoming less highly-regarded

    Article: Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men? – Forbes

    Just Say No – For white working-class women, it makes sense to stay single mothers. by Cahn and Carbone – Slate

    Like

  25. (I have a post above sitting in moderation, because it contains more than one or two links.)

    Anyway, by Ann:

    She is adamant about wives and mothers not working, even if their spouse is disabled or dead. Her response to mothers with no income is: “All things are possible with God.” She show no empathy or common sense when responding to women in desperate situations.

    Sometimes God does not supernaturally intervene – I don’t think Lori grasps that.

    There are even examples in the Bible where God did not 100% supernaturally deliver or heal a person from whatever their calamity was, but would tell the person to do something like go dip in a river seven times before their disease would vanish.

    In Lori’s brand of theology, she’d have to say God was in error to ask the person to do anything at all in his own healing, or to walk to the river, or to dip in the river.

    Reminds me of the story of the guy who was sitting in the rain on top of his house, and he prayed and prayed that God would save him from drowning. The guy drowned and asked God why.

    You can read that story here:
    “I Sent A Rowboat”

    Lori may be right, and God may financially provide for a divorced or widowed woman, but God’s provision may involve sending that women a JOB outside the home.

    But I think Lori is living in Dream World, where God will cause a “Cash Tree” to sprout up out of a woman’s backyard. More often than not, God does not appear to work this way in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Skimming over some of the excerpts in the comments some of the rest of you have taken from other posts by Lori, I suspect she’s one of those people who is not secure in her life choices or in how her life turned out, so, she seeks to justify her life and choices to herself by bashing others who don’t live life as she does.

    I saw an article about this, or something similar to it, a few months ago:
    When Your Personal, Private Choices Enrage Others , by Bella DePaulo, on ‘Psychology Today’

    Maybe they shouldn’t care, but strangers get angry at you for your choices

    I don’t have a problem with a woman who has made an educated, knowing choice of her own free will to be a stay at home wife and mother.

    My problem is that women like her try to set up being a SAHM as a woman’s only “godly” or “appropriate” way to live life.

    (And I feel sorry for women who walk into SAHMism, not because they really thought it through on their own, but because their church or parents never presented them with another way of viewing life. They did it because they felt it was “expected” of them by culture, their parents, their church.)

    Lori, if you want to be a SAHM, that is more than fine with me, but stop shaming or guilt-tripping other women who cannot or who do not want to live life as you do!

    There is nothing “less godly” or “ungodly” or “less biblical” about staying single, being single, working outside the home, or not wanting to have children, or being incapable of having children (see 1 Corinthians 7 for a start).

    I suspect that Lori is insecure about her life and her life choices, and that may be where a lot of her anti- childfree, or anti- ‘woman working outside the home’ rhetoric stems from.

    Like

  27. Correction: the link in my post above,
    When Your Personal, Private Choices Enrage Others, by Bella DePaulo, on ‘Psychology Today’ – Went to the wrong page.

    Please try this one for that article:
    a href=”https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201504/when-your-personal-private-choices-enrage-others”>When Your Personal, Private Choices Enrage Others (corrected link)

    Like

  28. Ann – But, remember, she bought that skirt on sale. As for the knees, she stated on her FB page that Ken likes her to wear knee-length skirts. So, she’s submitting to her husband. She’s only teaching God’s ways — frugality and pleasing your husband. (long…extended…eye roll)

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Kathi,

    I just finished your post and have not read the comment thread…..will do so later.

    With all of my heart, I believe you are one brave soul for sticking it out in reading Lori’s interpretation of the Bible. I am not sure that I could have read it to the end without flinging into the back forty and lighting a match!

    I may be offering up too much information, but for what it’s worth: I DID have surgery so as to not have more children. I love and adore my children and the persons our LORD made them to be, for after my last was born, that still small voice in the recess of my soul prompted me to move forward. I get so very sick from birth control methods and decided that I did not want to be sick the rest of my young life, pretending to have that fake joy everywhere I went. It was a collaborative decision with most of the weight falling upon me as I was the one going under the knife. So no problems there and no regrets for doing so…..complete peace in our LORD Jesus.

    And I don’t have a new kitchen either, although would absolutely love to have one as I thoroughly enjoy cooking and baking from scratch, especially recipes from our ancestors.

    And, I’m not going to hell in a hand basket for having the proper surgery as it is not a sin to repent of. Lori is not someone that I would recommend as a counseling mentor in the area of domestic abuse within the church system, or anywhere else for that matter. Prayers for her as I believe she is one confused woman.

    Like

  30. Ann – It’s ironic that since Ken likes Lori wearing skirts above the knees, she’s not being immodest. But, if a husband wants his wife to work to help contribute to the financial needs of the family, Lori recommends praying that the husband will come around to how God has designed the family. Even though the husband is the head of the family, and that may be a decision he has made, he is still in the wrong. How dare Lori judge the head of the family!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Katy – Sadly I am not reading a paper book otherwise I’m sure I would have flung it around the house by now. I admit that I have enjoyed the moments where I’m reading it on my work lunch break and taking notes. Makes me feel a bit rebellious! 😉

    Isn’t it nice that we have modern medicine to help us make choices in how to live our lives in the healthiest and most meaningful way possible? I’m glad you were able to get help for your physical issue and that you had support.

    Now if we could only get those nice kitchens!

    Like

  32. Unfortunately I read the teachings this Lori gives from various other Christian women bloggers or from articles so this isn’t anything new. It seems the problem is many in the ultra complementary circle misinterpret the scriptures to retain the 1950s-type nuclear family unit as the true model of a God-fearing Christian family where the husband is the primary breadwinner who is the major decision maker with the final say on all matters and the wife as the homemaker whose primary duties are the domestic sphere and the childcare and submits of her husband as the head of the household. However, this isn’t the true godly model it is just the traditional cultural American model of the family unit of the past.

    Even during Ancient times when Apostle Paul was alive the typical family unit wasn’t anything like this. In fact many people ran their businesses from their homes, some travelled around living in tents others were farmers and women were involved in the labor force whether managing their business alongside their husbands or making and selling goods to the merchants etc. Examples are few names mentioned in the bible such as Priscilla who alongside her husband Aquila made tents or Lydia who was in purple dye business, Deborah a judge to name a few. I myself come from a family where women always worked outside the home although they had to in their case and some like my maternal grandmother and my paternal aunt were single mothers. Of course not all complentarians are so rigid in gender specific duties, the more soft or moderate complementarians are a bit more modern and flexible regarding whether a woman should have career outside the home or household chores and they may support a more equal partnership in marriage just that husbands have the primary duty of the spiritual guidance of the family but their way almost resembles an egalitarian-type marriage.

    As for the submit thing, well the bible also tells all of us believers to submit to one another out of reverence for God not just wives to submit since we are all members of Christ body. I don’t share the same definition as what Lori or others like her of that word. Although I accept that men and women are not identical and we are meant to complement the other, using our differences to hold on to rigid and restrictive gender stereotypes and use the family model from the “good old days” as universal for how all Christian families should be like isn’t ideal in fact it is just legalistic. We should embrace diversity among believers which includes accepting women have diverse god-giving and individual talents and gifts to any path God has designed which will sometimes be outside the home, or without a marriage or kids or even in a foreign country. I know this was quite long so sorry for such a long rant. God Bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. One needs either lots of good wine or lots of fine chocolate to get through anything written by Lori Alexander. Or maybe even both!

    Or a sounding board or JA. I’ve lost track of how many times Kathi sends me a note: “did you see this????????”

    Truth be told, we all need a place to vent after reading her junk. It wouldn’t be good for our mental health to hold all of that anger inside 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  34. This whole thing is one big trigger! How in the heck could anyone let their husband be a king without becoming a codependent? If it is not possible then this isn’t really a choice because it is plain unhealthy.

    More than in any church I heard this stuff taught as dogma in homeschooling groups. After all, no church would ask for the explanation Katy gave about her surgery– it is her decision. But in homeschooling groups you have to explain why you don’t have an unlimited number of kids. It gives me anxiety just to think about those 13 years!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Julie Anne – Yes, I’m sure you have lost track. LOL! Thanks for indulging me on those. I do try to balance the with knitting, recipes, or other things I find humorous (which sometimes you probably indulge me on too).

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Kathi-you are spot on!! If only Saturday Night Live could spoof her advice! Sadly, the script writes itself and the writers would not have to add a thing!
    I know my words are not Christlike, but I do get angry for some of the women who follow her “advice” and feel they can never measure up as Christlike wives. Since Lori edits out anyone whose opinion challenges hers, some of the readers believe Lori has the magic cure to bad marriages and they feel inferior, because they can’t get their abusive husbands to change no matter how submissive they are.
    Also, it appears that Lori wants her readers to submit to her opinions. So who needs a husband???😉😉

    Liked by 3 people

  37. Ann- ” For example, she recently posted a selfie of herself in a new $70.00 denim skirt that falls above her knees. As an almost 60 year old women who teaches frugality and modestly to mainly young homeschoolers of modest means, ”
    Uhm, a sewing machine machine would have been a more frugal investment! Does Ken not want her to learn to sew?

    “She is adamant about wives and mothers not working, even if their spouse is disabled or dead. Her response to mothers with no income is: “All things are possible with God.” She show no empathy or common sense when responding to women in desperate situations.”

    “All things are possible with God?” Yep, especially in war-torn countries where women and children are dying from illness and starvation by the thousands.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. @Kathi:

    Ann – It’s ironic that since Ken likes Lori wearing skirts above the knees, she’s not being immodest.

    Because then it’s being Hubby’s Eye Candy.
    (Which he can show off before all the Beta- to Omega Males….)

    Liked by 3 people

  39. @Nancy2:

    “She is adamant about wives and mothers not working, even if their spouse is disabled or dead. Her response to mothers with no income is: “All things are possible with God.” She show no empathy or common sense when responding to women in desperate situations.”

    AKA “Be Warm and Well Filled; I’ll Pray For You.”
    Then walk away and leave them to starve.

    “You have a saying: ‘I’ll Pray for You.’
    We also have a saying:
    PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!”
    — filk of a famous line from Babylon-5

    Like

  40. The wikipedia article entitled Biblical Patriarchy is interesting and applies here. It is separate from the article entitled Patriarchy.

    Like

  41. Just realized something….

    Lori likes to quote Titus 2:5 but totally misses God’s command in that verse that women need “to be SELF-CONTROLLED” which is the total opposite of being controlled by someone else as Lori is teaching!

    Think about it—God commands women to take control of their lives—we can’t have self-control if someone else is making all of our choices for us!!

    Since there’s no law of God against self-control (Gal 5:22-23) then Lori can’t make up any rules that violate women having self-control of their own lives.

    “Train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children,
    to be SELF-CONTROLLED….” Titus 2:4-5(NET)

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Hmm… These are the women I saw in my family: 2 didn’t marry until their sixties, no children, one held 2 jobs at the same time and took care of her elderly parents, she sewed all her own clothes, had a huge garden, canned her own food, bought her own cars and houses without a man to help. She had her own money and didn’t have to take any crap off of a man. The other one could cook like a gourmet, upholster furniture, remodeled her own kitchen sewed her own clothes and as gifts for others, gardened and was a welder at an airplane factory. There are/were several women who chose a career over having children, others had children but the men were less than worthless in supporting them. I had a lot of role models to choose from. I chose to get married young, have a career/job and no children. Just finished reading “Southern Cross:The Beginning of the Bible Belt” by Heyrman. It tells the history of how Patriarchialism became entrenched in Evangelicalism and how it is affecting the church now.

    Liked by 1 person

Thanks for participating in the SSB community. Please be sure to leave a name/pseudonym (not "Anonymous"). Thx :)