Josh Duggar, Sex Scandal, ATI, Ashley Madison
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The eldest son of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of TLC’s popular TV show, 19 Kids and Counting is in the news again. Josh and his wife Anna Duggar made an announcement on their family’s website. This announcement comes two years after accusations of:
- alleged sexual abuse against his sisters and another young minor as a teen
- having an Ashley Madison online account
- paying for sex
- entering a pseudo Christian “treatment” facility
- separating from his wife, Anna
Duggar Family AnnouncementMarch 17, 2017
For nearly the last two years, we have quietly worked to save our marriage, focus on our children, and rebuild our lives together as a family. Doing so is never easy after a breach of trust. We’ve learned that a life of faith and rebuilding a life together is simply done one day at a time. As we continue our journey as a family and rebuild our lives, we are delighted to share with you that we are expecting a new baby boy later this year. Beauty comes from ashes and we cannot wait to see and kiss the face of this sweet new boy! – Josh & Anna
The reason why this story is important to observe is because of the history of abuse and connections to ideologies that are abusive, such as: Courtship, Patriarchy, ATI – the homeschool curricula program of Bill Gothard (another man who has been accused of sexual scandals), stay-at-home daughters, purity and modesty movements, etc.
In following cases like Josh Duggar, we are able to see disturbing behavioral patterns – similar patterns that others have experienced while raised in this kind of controlled and legalistic environment.
Spiritual Sounding Board 
I hope it works out well for her and her children, but I’m afraid she is becoming more and more trapped.
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Dear God.
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Anna is deeply in, and this just pulls her in more. Sad.
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Wives of pedophiles often say their husbands didn’t reveal bad behavior until the wife was pregnant.
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They need to stop presenting themselves as a wholesome family suffering from “a breach of trust.” What Josh did to those young girls is criminal. Stop trying to polish that turd. And if we’ve learned anything about the Patriarchy ideology, even from Jim Bob Duggar’s mouth, no less, it’s that this behavior is not so uncommon among families who practice this.
I hope this isn’t a comeback attempt.
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So is the answer to problems always have more children? Just seems like they have enough problems without adding another child to support.
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How bad does it have to be! Only half, less than half only the Ashley Madison account, only the religious control i.e. spiritual abuse and the relationship is quite bad enough to seek help and healing and strength to get out.
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Although as an outsider and stranger, this is disheartening news because what we know he has done in their relationship seems obviously unsalvageable. A pattern of behavior unlikely to change, except perhaps on the surface to facilitate restoration of his image. But then, I’m reminded, from personal experience, that it sometimes takes a long time for abused people to face the truth about abusive family members and love relationships.
The following are just snippets from the website Womanslaw.org
“Let go of any expectations you have that there is a “quick fix” to…the obstacles an abused person faces. Understand that what may appear to you as him/her “not doing anything” may very well be the safest thing s/he can do at any given time.
What You Can Do for a Victim of Abuse
Believe…Listen…Build on his/her strengths…Validate…Avoid victim-blaming…Take it seriously…Offer help…Be a partner in safety planning efforts…and…
Support and respect his/her decisions. Remember that there are risks with every decision a victim of abuse makes. It can often be helpful to respect his/her decisions and let the person know that you are there if s/he wants to reach out for support, even if you don’t agree with the decisions.”
The SSB blog does ALL of this consistently.
If Anna were to read this blog, she would know that kind strangers, while they hate what he did to her and the kids, are still thinking about her and her children during these times of confusion and struggle.
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Great comment, Song of Joy. To me, that is one of the most difficult and frustrating things about abuse: when you know someone is in an abusive situation, yet the person for some reason or not has not left the abuser. But it is part of the process. If we were to somehow forcefully intervene, they would still be weak and would likely go back. The most important part of this process is allowing someone to come to their own conclusions and make the decision themselves. They need to own it.
Thanks for posting the link/quote!
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Two years is not NEARLY enough time for Josh to have worked a legitimate treatment program & rebuild trust with his wife. This pregnancy is a band-aid, pure & simple, to distract from Josh’s deep-seated issues. This man has a sex addiction & has perpetrated criminal sexual acts against his own sisters, which in & of themselves carries deep pathological implications. Frankly I am sad & frightened for Anna Duggar. She has been raised in a culture where girls & women are trained to tolerate the intolerable. What Josh did was so heinous that she should have left him & started a new life. I have little hope that a sex addict with a criminal sexual history & probably zero specialized treatment for this addiction will stay sober very long. He knows what he can get away with & what his wife will tolerate.
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Song of Joy, thanks for quoting from the WomensLaw.org site. I hadn’t seen that site before until today. There’s a treasure house of information there for women in domestic violence situations.
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When I first saw the Duggars on television I was fascinated– and jealous. This was the way family should be– so close, so respectful, so trustworthy. And they were all believers. This was an example of the relationships we were all working so hard toward. I bet Anna is still trying for it!
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You can’t help but be concerned for this family after everything that has transpired. Josh was never under professional care, his parents sent him off to “JESUS JAIL” a Bill Gothard affiliated christian program after his first offenses. Then he went to a second live in place reformers unanimous( rurecovery.com), a program run by a Baptist church. Neither of these places are equipped or capable of treating a sexual predator, and that is exactly what he is. He should have been charged criminally after the initial offense (finger sex with 5 minor children). Instead his ever dollar chasing family waited for the statue of limitations to expire. That money / greed driven cover up enabled further misconduct, just not of a criminal nature.
The saddest thing about the whole pathetic story, when Josh was about to be released from his second stint in Jesus jail his wife said she was hitting the gym more to get ready. Sadly believing that he would be less likely to cheat if she looked better. That breaks my heart that she has been led to believe that she has culpability for her husband’s gross premeditated sexual sin. I can totally understand why her brother wanted her to divorce Josh.
Unfortunately this family’s story is one of many within the ultra-conservative, hyper-legalistic home school movement. For example the six brothers at Scott Brown’s family integrated church that were gang raping their little sister with parental knowledge. Scott Brown’s daughter divorce from Peter Bradrick with a divorce agreement that she has full custody and he agrees to not expose their 10 children to boyfriends or girlfriends. Peter’s brother n law is currently well into a 12 year prison sentence for child sex offenses, leaving his wife to care for 10 children alone.Then two other prominent home school families ( and authors of raising Godly children books) like Peter’s parents also have children convicted of sex offenses. Then the home school college, Patrick Henry that Mike Farris started for his followers has found unwanted media attention for their large number of gay & lesbian students.
Something is seriously wrong in this stay home daughter, home school movement and much of it seems to involved serious sexual perversion.
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Ugh. That is sad. Especially considering that having 4 or 5 children in a row makes it pretty hard to maintain weight.
I hope she knows none of this is her fault, but with that family and that belief system it would be difficult.
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Scandal Over, Move Along, RESUME BREEDING.
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@Julie Anne:
“He who was born in a cage
Years for his cage;
With horror I understand
That I Love My Cage.”
— Yevgevny Yevtushenko, Soviet-era Russian poet
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@scott1253:
Just like in Pornography, where the woman always has to be a Perfect 10.
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Irene,
Let’s not forget that (ironically enough) “reality TV” is typically quite far removed from reality. It’s heavily scripted and edited, which none of us can do in our actual day-to-day lives. The Duggar Family Sideshow was no exception.
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I never watched the show and was only familiar with it because these folks are within spitting distance of me – in fact if I thought she would listen I would pack myself in the car and go talk to Anna but I probably wouldn’t get near the compound without a jumper or something.
But I was amazed and shocked that their solution to Josh’s action was to pack all the girls in one room (if I was understanding correctly) and have them lock the door. Can you imagine being asked to live like that???
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Yes, you see how girls are a lower status in this culture? Protect the perpetrator, prevent him from having to deal with civil authorities, and instead, punish the victims by locking them up. What message does that send to the girls? That they did something wrong or their brother did wrong? The parents went by the Bill Gothard pedophile training manual. It worked for him for years.
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I don’t think the Duggars meant to hurt their girls. They were protecting themselves because it was too hard for them to turn the incident in as a criminal offense– or even view it that way themselves.
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Exactly the problem. They were protecting themselves and not the girls. Even if they didn’t want to turn Josh in to the police which I actually do understand, although I think it was the wrong decision because he needed to be ‘scared strait’ if he was ever going to change, and it seems like his age and family situation made him actually a candidate for potential change in a way that might not be the same for an adult committing the same crimes, and he needed major therapy and that was probably the best way to do both, they should have removed him from the house. Period.
Obviously they did none of that and they’re still coddling him and he’s a grown man with no excuses.
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What I cannot stand is that the Duggars all along homeschooled their kids to “shelter” them from the (evil big bad) world….all the while putting them on TV of all things, where you see their images on People covers and who knows where else. Seriously????? Prostitute them to a camera for the big bucks, while sheltering them from the world??? This family makes me SICK to my STOMACH!!! Get those kids out of the public eye or even better, put them in school to learn to deal with reality. There will be MORE of them in the future showing all sorts of problems. And why follow the daughters having babies? Why is that a big deal….having kids? Anyone can do that. Follow the money trail……………………………..
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Concerned for the children and the new little one that has no clue what he’s being born into. Hoping and praying they’ll acknowledge the issues and seek the help they need.
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I have a feeling that the issues we know about Josh are only the tip of the iceberg, as far as the Duggar family go. Just because families who live by these very rigid rule systems usually seem to have a lot of skeletons in the closet.
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I am seriously worried about the safety of the children. Living & growing up in the house with a sexual predator? Poor babies…..
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‘It’s NOT a secret’ that players playing ‘in secret’ cannot sometimes control themselves in all realms of their daily life. Addiction is a human condition and when one allows imbalance to naturally spill over, non-participants can observe the atrocities. As in the Catholic church confessional with inappropriate questions of a sexual nature pertaining to explicit sexual acts and of pornography, when, if purported to a child would be considered child luring. Other atrocities are occurring right in front of everyone even during mass! It’s true the use of Scientology engineered ‘electric chillers’, stalking and chanting assaults made on parishioners while congregating occurs in 2018 on the west coast of North America in Catholic places of worship. The issue continues to proliferate and is left hanging. It’s not inappropriate – it’s ILLEGAL. I oftentimes find myself using those words to remind people in my community of that fact.
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You guys are gonna be real surprised in a little over 4 years when Anna declares she is pregnant with number 7 and Josh is indicted for child pornography!
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Not surprised whatsoever, Nostradamus. The writing was on the wall.
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Or six years when Josh is CONVICTED of CP.
And Anna announces yet another pregnancy.
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