This morning, GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) released a thoughtful, clear statement of empathetic support for victims and constructive solutions for changing Church systems that perpetuate abuse. The five-page statement from the Board of Directors addresses key systemic needs in four areas:
- Seminary education of pastors about maintaining appropriate boundaries.
- Rigorous screening and selection of pastors or other church leaders who provide counseling.
- Implement checks and balances to minimize abusive situations.
- Implementing clear policies for responding to abusive conduct, including reporting abuse to the appropriate authorities, removing abusive pastors from any leadership role and, most importantly, supporting survivors.
Please see the full statement below, download the document, and like/share the links on social media!
Links: Facebook. Squarespace. Twitter.
* * * * * * *
Statement Regarding Tullian Tchividjian
Statement from the GRACE Board of Directors
The GRACE board is deeply disturbed about the revelations of sexual misconduct by Tullian Tchividjian. As an organization that deals with the abuse of God’s lambs and the damage silence causes we feel compelled to speak. We believe that no material institution is more sacred to God than His lambs – be it church or mission or family. Institutions ordained by God were destroyed at His hand when they became corrupt. Given that we must be what He calls His people to be or we too will have chosen silence and darkness over truth and light.
Dear victims – and you are indeed victims. You have suffered and we do not want to add our silence to that suffering. Once again, one of God’s shepherds used his position of authority, his gift of words, his intellect and personality to draw you in when you were vulnerable and in need of care. All power belongs to Christ. Any power we have is derivative and sacred and to be used only for His glory and the good of His people. Anything less is an abuse of that power. You have been victims of the gross misuse of power God intended for your good. We grieve with you. We stand with you in the light. You have with courage exposed the deeds of darkness. Thank you, for we as the Body of Christ need your voices but now that the light shines a failure to respond on our part means we have turned from the light you turned on. We pray for you, knowing full well that each and every one of you has a hard road ahead as you seek newness of life, healing and a restoring of your souls. We pray that the failure of a shepherd will not lead you to forsake the Good and Great Shepherd who turns tables over and cracks whips when those in His church rob His sheep and distort the truth of who God is. We also pray that God will multiply the fruit of your hard labor to step into light to cause the greater body to examine itself regarding the many silenced victims that live in its midst.
Dear church of Jesus Christ, our God feeds and folds His sheep. He speaks truth and does not deceive. He protects us from wolves both inside and outside the fold. He does so by laying His own down at the gate. We fear that we have often helped wolves deceive others and hide themselves in sheep’s clothing for our own gain and comfort. In doing so we have not loved those who prey on God’s sheep for we have left them in their darkness and bondage. There are many untended, discarded victims in our midst. We are called by God to stand in the light they have brought, tend their wounds, lift the fallen and tenderly carry those who cannot stand. We are nothing like our Lord if we fail to do so. May the fruit of this grievous sin bring a sweeping of God’s refining fire through the lives of His people across the globe.
At a minimum, God’s “refining fire” requires the Christian community to put in place long overdue reforms that will limit the possibility of continuing transgressions against the vulnerable. These reforms include:
1. Seminary education of pastors about maintaining appropriate boundaries. Every seminary must provide education on maintaining appropriate boundaries between a pastor and the children or adults he or she may counsel. This training should include instruction on understanding the impact of trauma1 and when and how to refer survivors of abuse to professional mental health providers. If a church is hiring or has hired a pastor who has not received this sort of training, it can and should be conducted after the fact.
2. Rigorous screening and selection of pastors or other church leaders who provide counseling. The Centers for Disease Control has promulgated guidelines for screening and selecting those who will supervise, counsel or exercise a leadership role over children. These guidelines include background checks, social media checks, reference checks and formalized interviews about child protection guidelines.2 We believe the CDC guidelines are a solid foundation for churches to use in the screening and selection of pastors.
3. Implement checks and balances to minimize abusive situations. Those who provide pastoral counseling must read and agree to adhere to an appropriate Code of Ethics such as that promulgated by the American Association of Christian Counselors which strictly prohibits sexual contact between pastors and those they are counseling. This includes not only prohibitions on sexual contact but sexual innuendo, sexual “humor,” comments on attractiveness, etc.3 Pastoral counselors must receive oversight from other pastors, elders or others who can hold them accountable to the highest possible standard of ethics. If at all possible, pastoral counseling should be conducted in a church office with windows.
Clergy and other church leaders should also adhere to appropriate policies pertaining to texting and the use of social media.4
4. Implementing clear policies for responding to abusive conduct, including reporting abuse to the appropriate authorities, removing abusive pastors from any leadership role and, most importantly, supporting survivors.
a. Reporting abuse to the authorities. It is a crime for any pastor to engage in sexual conduct with a child and, in many states, it is a crime for a pastor to engage in sexual conduct with an adult he or she is providing pastoral care to.5 Every church must have in place a mechanism to ensure that any criminal conduct committed by a pastor or other called worker will be immediately reported to law enforcement and that the church will fully comply with any subsequent investigation.
b. Removing abusive pastors. Although Christ died for all sinners and paid the penalty for all sins, this doesn’t mean a pastor who has violated one or more of his or her parishioners should continue to hold a leadership role in the church. Christ instructed us to be as “wise as serpents” (Mt. 10:16) and common sense compels us to remove abusive leaders so they cannot harm others. These leaders can and should be ministered to6 but this does not mean they should be given a second chance to violate the vulnerable. If Moses was denied entry to the promised land because he struck a rock the wrong way (Nu 20:12), clergy who violate the children or adults entrusted to them should be denied the pulpit.
c. Educating parishioners about what they can expect during pastoral counseling and where to report if they believe a pastor has exceeded his or her appropriate roles. Patients at a hospital have explained to them various procedures and routinely receive a patient’s bill of rights. Similarly, children or adults receiving pastoral counseling should be aware of guidelines for the counseling and what they can do should a pastor or other counselor engage in inappropriate conduct.
d. Supporting survivors of clergy abuse. When a congregation discovers a pastor has abused a child or adult in his or her care, the church has a responsibility to address the physical, emotional, and spiritual damage. This includes assuming the financial cost of medical and mental health expenses or any other reasonable requests made by a victim. If the victim remains in the congregation, the abusive pastor should not be allowed to remain in the same church. Although we must continue to speak against abuse within the church, speech without action is a hollow reminder the church has done too little for too long to protect the vulnerable. In the midst of this most recent scandal, we pray the church’s future will be better than our past.
GRACE Board of Directors
December 7, 2016
Footnotes
1. See e.g., Vincent J. Felitti & Robert F. Anda, The Relationship of Adverse Childhood Experiences to Adult Medical Disease, Psychiatric Disorders and Sexual Behavior: Implications for Healthcare, in RUTH A. LANIUS, ERIC VERMETTEN, AND CLARE PAIN, THE IMPACT OF EARLY LIFE TRAUMA ON HEALTH AND DISEASE: THE HIDDEN EPIDEMIC (CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY PRESS 2010).
2. Saul & NC Audage, Preventing Child Sexual Abuse within Youth-Serving Organizations: Getting Started on Policies and Procedures, CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION (2007).
3. AACC Code of Ethics, p. 16.Clergy and other church leaders should also adhere to appropriate policies pertaining to texting and the use of social media.
4. As one example of a social media policy pertaining to interactions with youth, see these recommendations from the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center: http://www.gundersenhealth.org/app/files/public/2113/NCPTC-Social- Networking-Policy.pdf
5. In Minnesota, for example, it is a crime punishable by up to 15 years in prison for a pastor to have sex with someone he or she is providing “religious or spiritual advice, aid, or comfort…” MINN. STAT. SECTION 609.344, SUBD. 1(k)(1)(ii).
6. For appropriate guidelines in ministering to sex offenders, see generally, Victor Vieth, Ministering to Sex Offenders: Ten Lessons from Henry Gerecke, 112 WISCONSIN LUTHERAN QUARTERLY 209 (2015).
* * * * * * *
Significant Reposts and Responses
Various blogs among abuse survivor communities have different readerships, so we’ve linked to posts on other blogs so you can read the comments there. Some of the best insights for our community as a whole come from synthesizing the range of comments on such blogs.
Warren Throckmorton: Child Abuse Prevention Group Issues Strong Statement Against Tullian Tchividjian and “Sexual Misconduct.” (Includes a list of GRACE board members, some of whom are relatives of Tullian Tchividjian.) QUOTE: Given the family connections and visibility of GRACE, this is a remarkable development. I suspect the pressure will now increase on the mainstream Christian media to report on these developments as well as on David C. Cook to pull back on their publication schedule.”
The Wartburg Watch: GRACE Issues Statement of the Tullian Tchvidjian Scandal.
Spiritual Sounding Board 
I just read this. I love this statement and how many practical concerns it addresses! This is the difference between a group that has thought about one person and one who thinks and worries about the wider church, the future, and all the implications.
I think too about how hard it must be to have this familial connection.
LikeLike
I already admired and respected Boz before this. He has shown that he practices what he preaches.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you GRACE for this excellent message to victims. If the church doesn’t police it’s own pastors and call them out, people will see the church as an hypocritical unsafe place.
I have a close friend who is not a Christian (even though he comes from a long line of prestigious and famous pastors), because his grandfather, a popular pastor in the 1930’s, had an affair with a church member and then ran off and married her.
My friend’s dad was 20 years old at that time and he decided to walk away from Christianity because no one stood up for his mother. Consequently his children aren’t believers and don’t trust Christian leaders.
Dear Church Leaders, please discipline and expose wayward pastors, otherwise you are proclaiming morality only matters for the people in the pews, not the clergy. Cover-ups and failure to report simply makes people mistrust the church and view church leadership as self-serving.
Only God deserves our full loyalty…not your clergy-buddies.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Speakingtruthinlove's Blog.
LikeLike
The Gospel Coalition kicked Tullian off its board in May 2014. Perhaps they “knew” something and kept the info “private” like so many of the good ol boys do, and if they had been forthright with info, this all could have been nipped in the bud before there were more victims. These groups think they are being sooo “Gawdly” by keeping stuff like this private for the supposed privacy of the individual and protection of the reputation of the the groups. No concern for future victims. Had to be more to the story than CT article posted May 21, 2014.
LikeLike
” we as the Body of Christ need your voices but now that the light shines a failure to respond on our part means we have turned from the light you turned on.’
Amen on both counts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Family feud, more or less. I would dare suggest that Boz could give some people some insights into how his brother things, no?
What is of note here is that I’d have to guess that steps 2-4 were followed by the church in Coral Gables, and I’m unsure what more could be done on #1. The tragedy here does not appear to be that TT was untrained in what not to do–“don’t hit on women who are not your wife” seems to be something even understood by teens, after all–but rather that he seems to have been determined to transgress in this regard. The big deal in my mind is that it takes something to convince somebody to report–we’ve got to be convinced that it really is that big of a deal.
LikeLike
Oops. How his brother “thinks”, not “things”, of course.
Regarding TGC, I believe that TT’s parting from TGC was at least at surface level a theological dispute. I am reluctant to read more into it than that without some evidence. It is probably related to his moral sins of adultery and victimization, but I don’t know for sure that anyone at TGC knew about this at the time.
LikeLike
One of the little people–are you kidding? We don’t know who we can trust at all. And Bike Bubba–you are right. These suggestions won’t prevent abuse even if they are implemented. It makes more sense to say that new pastors have to be in an apprentice-type program and their character has to be proven.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think it would hurt for seminaries to teach pastors not to cross boundaries inappropriately but most of that shouldn’t actually have to be taught. It would be good if they strenuously taught that it was predatory to go after members of your congregation as it is taught to secular counselors regarding those they are counseling.
It wouldn’t prevent it from still happening but it could potentially lessen it and create more of a stigma for the pastor, rather than the women involved.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Irene, I’d be in favor of an apprentice style program–I’ve believed that pastors ought to be making disciples, not just getting people to pray a prayer, for years–but it’s worth noting that the apprenticeship is only as good as the master.
To draw a picture, I just read part of Robert Sumner’s expose’ of Jack Hyles (1st Baptist of Hammond) yesterday (Sumner died recently), and the testimony of Hyles’ daughter and daughter-in-law suggests that (a) Hyles did mentor his son and son-in-law, among many deacons, as apprentices and (b) they learned sexual perversion from him quite well, sad to say. Jack Schaap is currently in federal prison as a result–he took a girl across state lines for adulterous encounters. A bunch of Hyles’ proteges are, or have been, in prison for sex and other crimes.
So like anything, it all comes down to the quality of the people you’ve got, especially those in leadership, and you’ve got to create a culture of “we will take these allegations seriously.” It’s hard, as people have a natural inclination (probably mostly good) to be gentle on others. But there is a line that is crossed.
LikeLike
Thank you, GRACE. You have broken the sound barrier. Now the healing of the precious abuse victims can truly begin. In this Advent season, may they draw close to the manger, for therein lies their ultimate hope, Jesus Christ. Abusive church leaders nearly destroy those they abuse. It is a long, long journey of restoration. May it help them to remember that there are many, many of us who stand with them as truth is spoken, believed and acted on.
LikeLike
Did I read somewhere that one of the churches involved went along with Tullian seeing his brother, Stephan, for counseling?
LikeLike
“These suggestions won’t prevent abuse even if they are implemented. It makes more sense to say that new pastors have to be in an apprentice-type program and their character has to be proven.”
Back in the old SBC days, a seminary grad knew they had to pay their dues working on staff of a seasoned pastor. When they finally got their own church it was usually a tiny rural one. It was almost unheard of to see a 30 year old pastor. There was NO glamour attached to it at all.
Nowadays, it is exactly the opposite so it attracts the wrong types
LikeLike
@lydia 00. re: Stephan Tchividjian. See Rachel’s Story, Part #2, top section on June and July 2015. QUOTE:
When Tullian’s moral failure was made public, a team was assigned to help him. His older brother, Stephan, headed this initiative. Tullian told me his brother was jealous of his success and he couldn’t trust him at all. He orchestrated his situation cleverly to replace those counselors with his friend, Paul Tripp. …
https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/11/29/survivor-of-tullian-tchividjians-alleged-clergy-sexual-abuse-goes-public-with-her-story-part-2/
LikeLike
Thanks Brad! I knew I read that somewhere. Sheesh.
I admit that the Tullian phenomenon of a few years back sort of mystified me mainly because the history of his mom was so strange. I went and read through some of her social media. It was mostly praising Tullian.
LikeLike
I don’t know if you are in touch with Tullian’s family, but I was wondering how Kim and her children are doing. Along with these women, Tullian has devastated his family. Children have little control of their environment and making sense of what their dad continues to do must be confusing. Also young kids tend to be egocentric and believe they are the the cause of everything that effects their world (both good and bad).
While Tillian’s victims are brave for speaking out and deserve to be heard and comforted, his family (especially the kids) need a safe place to feel supported and work through what must be complicated feelings about their dad. Do ministries like GRACE assist the families sort out their own trauma?
JA, you are a rock star! Thank you for the compassion and support you provide for those who have been wounded by “shepherds”. It would have been easy for you to wash your hands of everything after your pastor tried to destroy you. (By the way, a big FU to him). Instead you dove right in and graciously gave of yourself to other spiritual victims. Thank you!
LikeLike
‘I don’t know if you are in touch with Tullian’s family, but I was wondering how Kim and her children are doing. Along with these women, Tullian has devastated his family. Children have little control of their environment and making sense of what their dad continues to do must be confusing. Also young kids tend to be egocentric and believe they are the the cause of everything that effects their world (both good and bad).
While Tillian’s victims are brave for speaking out and deserve to be heard and comforted, his family (especially the kids) need a safe place to feel supported and work through what must be complicated feelings about their dad. Do ministries like GRACE assist the families sort out their own trauma?”
Ann, as far as I can tell, one of Tullian and Kim’s children has a child. He is a grandfather. The other 2 are teens, I think. The issue of growing up with a narcisstic/sociopathic parent is huge. There are many resources online dedicated to this topic. We need to understand that many go into adulthood with that paradigm of love as the normal and the kids as part of the supply. I get the picture Tullian was more gym and limelight time than sacrificing parent.
LikeLike
Ann, Kim and the kids seem to be doing the best they can. They are trying to move on. Kim is a good mom. I can tell she puts her children first.
LikeLike
“I get the picture Tullian was more gym and limelight time than sacrificing parent.”
As we continue sharing more information we have, it will be apparent that he did not have much time to be home in order to be a decent husband and
LikeLike
Irene,
Nowhere in my comment did I say I trusted Boz. I do not know him. However, I have admired his forthright defense of victims and their families against church systems. He has shown the heart of a shepherd.
In addition, he was very helpful to me personally when my family was dealing with a sexual abuse crime against one of my children and members of my church responded evilly.
So yes, I respect and admire him and even more so now. I remember when everything started coming out and Boz made a comment on Twitter. His mother rebuked him. I imagine there will be some difficulties in the family with this statement. When the pressure might have been to be silent, he spoke up for what is right, just as he has always advocated we should all do.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on exceptionnoted.
LikeLike
Brad and Lydia 00 —
Thanks for the heads-up. I just did an internet search on various Graham children and grandchildren. It appears there’s a lot of addiction problems and infidelity in that clan. Tullian isn’t an anomaly.
We as Christians need to stop worshiping people, families, pastors, and leaders. God alone deserves our trust.
LikeLike
“We as Christians need to stop worshiping people, families, pastors, and leaders. God alone deserves our trust.”
Exactly! Spiritual Royalty? No such thing. It’s the Priesthood of Believer all the way.
LikeLike
As we continue sharing more information we have, it will be apparent that he did not have much time to be home in order to be a decent husband and
One might infer that a key part of accountability among pastors and the deacon/elder boards they work with would be to look at their schedules and ask them–and their wives–whether they’re getting time together, all that. I’m not privy to the speaking/travel schedule TT maintained, nor the workout schedule, but if you add a number of speaking engagements to an ordinary work week, and then a lot of time in the gym to that as well, something’s got to give, specifically family time.
(and then add tattoo parlor time, etc….)
LikeLike
“(and then add tattoo parlor time, etc….)”….Bike Bubba, you forgot tanning, and also spent time looking at one’s self in the mirror…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
And time on social media.
LikeLike
:^)
I also forgot to mention that, just as accountability processes blew up in a nasty way in C.J. Mahaney’s world, any accountability is….only as good as the people working it. So asking for a look at their “daytimer”, so to speak, might be a good start, but it doesn’t guarantee success. Lots of places a person can look to see warning signs, but you’ve got to have people who will act on them.
LikeLike
The blog’s title is appropriately titled “Ramblings”.
Nothing like a good whine about Christians exposing lying, cheating, greedy, hypocritical, philandering charlatans.
“It’s GOSSIP!”.
Oh go stick your head in a bucket of cold water.
Wake up from your nonsense.
LikeLike
Salty, the world would be bland without you.
Your comments are priceless; thank you.
LikeLike
Regarding the issue of gossip, things were very public from the start due to his own description of the situation, and he made it worse by just “moving to another ministry” instead of fessing up, apologizing, and making restitution to his victims–it appears he’s responsible for breaking up at least two marriages already. So he has multiple families and multiple churches as victims, as well as the credibility of those who thought they were helping him repent.
Hard to put that toothpaste back in the tube, to put it mildly. So really, he’s stuck with this.
LikeLike
“We as Christians need to stop worshiping people, families, pastors and leaders. God alone deserves our trust.” Anonymous2
Amen to that one. There’s only One Who saves…Jesus, the Christ.
Pastors in my neck of the woods get a little perturbed with me when I don’t recognize their holy (?) importance. In fact, some pastors believe when we speak of Jesus and the Bible, they look at me/us like we are a bit “off.” And pastors on rare, very rare occasion, reference the priesthood of believers, not without duly noting that they are the “head” of the congregation.
To date, I haven’t seen the Name of Jesus on any sign outside the church building; as the Head, the Cornerstone, the One and only Savior of the world.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Boston Lady = 😆😚💕
Katy. I have been bothering religious men for years. My faith upsets them. My manner of expressing my faith upsets them. My lack of need for their ‘godly wisdom’ upsets them.
And when I point out to them that Jesus and Paul never went to church because it’s not a place or a meeting but it’s the people of God, that upsets them.
That I don’t need their permission to scratch my bum because I go into my prayer closet (haha) to seek counsel from God, it upsets them.
When I tell them how I’ve figured out how to use Bible study software so I can learn for myself… oh that really upsets them.
In conclusion:
Those who think themselves to be wise know nothing.
God used the humble and lowly.
The rest are religious imposters.
💩💩💩💩💩
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great staement – But needs a little addition, correction… 😉
From the GRACE statement… 2nd paragraph…
“Dear victims – and you are indeed victims….”
“Once again, one of God’s shepherds
used his position of authority, his gift of words,
his intellect and personality to draw you in
when you were vulnerable and in need of care.”
NOPE
Big, Big, mistake…
These guys are NOT – “one of God’s shepherds.” 😦
Seems, the only “ONE” in the scriptures…
Who calls them self, “Shepherd,”
And, has the “Title,” “Shepherd,”
IS… The “ONE” Shepherd…
{{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m-a-thinkin, the GRACE statement could be re-written this way… Yes?
Dear victims – and you are indeed victims….
Once again, a man, a wolf, Got by the elders, who “Ignored” the Qualifications for elder/overseers, to hire a “Celebrity.” A wolf, who did ”NOT meet the Qualifications” for elder/overseer. And, Entered NOT by the door, Jesus, into the sheepfold, the same is a thief and a robber. And, this wolf, thief and a robber, also mis-appropriated a “Title/Postion” pastor/leader/reverend. A “Title” that does NOT exist, in the Bible. For one of His Disciples. A “Title” that comes with Power, Profit, Prestige, Honor, Glory, Reputation, in “Today’s Corrupt Religious system.” ALL those things, Power, Profit, Prestige, highly esteemed among men but is abomination in the site of God.
This wolf, Deceived you, “Dear victims,” into believing those with…
The “Title/Postion” pastor/leader/reverend…
Have a “Position of Authority” – They do NOT…
You, “Dear victims” are NOT alone…
This Mere Fallible Human, and those who call themselves…
pastors, elders, church leaders, christian leaders, spiritual leaders…
Have Deceived lots of folks, for lots of years…
Into believing “pastors” have a “Position of Authority.” – They do NOT…
You have been victims of the gross misuse of power…
That does NOT exist, in the Bible. – For one of His Disciples.
You have been victims of the gross misuse of “Titles”…
That do NOT exist, in the Bible. – For one of His Disciples.
Hmmm? I’m- a-liken King David more and more…
The Lord is MY Shepherd…
Jer 50:6
“My people” hath been “lost sheep:”
THEIR shepherds have caused them to go astray,
1 Pet 2:25
For ye were as sheep going astray;
BUT are now returned to the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
{{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}
LikeLiked by 1 person
Notice… Jer 50:6… says…
“THEIR shepherds have caused them to go astray,”
NOT – God’s shepherds…
LikeLike
Well… Well… Well…
Seems another “Authoritarian” website bites… err… bites the dust…
And NO longer allows folks to comment… 🙂
Looks like Church Leaders .com
Has gone the way of 9Marks
Hmmm? What could they be afraid of???
And – Has removed the ability for folks to comment.
Can’t have the pew-peons dis-agreeing with the big muckey-muks…
And – Has removed ALL previous comments.
Yeah – Gotta destroy the evidence.
xxxxxxxxxx
But – Maybe someone can check them out…
It might be just me who can NO longer see the comment section.
xxxxxxx
This post even asks for comments – But – Alas – NO comment section. 😦
http://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/174131-scott-postma-pastors-you-should-have-major-concerns-about.html
“These are a few of my concerns about pastors.”
“What are your concerns? Let me know in the comments.”
LikeLike
Oooops – Correction…
Church Leaders . com
Is allowing comments again.
LikeLike