“Now where is the scandal in this?” ~Doug Wilson
Steven Sitler, Christ Church, Moscow ID, New Saint Andrews, Pedophile
When I was tweeting about my upcoming visit to Moscow, I received a tweet from Heather Wilson. At the time, I didn’t realize she was related to Doug Wilson, but later I received an e-mail from Heather and figured out she was indeed connected with Doug Wilson. Heather is married to Nathan, or ND, Doug’s son.
My first response was, “Cool!” I wish I could have met with Doug Wilson in person, but at least this was an opportunity to gain some understanding from inside the Kirk. I loved that Heather not only tried once, but twice to connect with someone who has obviously spoken about her father-in-law in a negative light. (You can see a bit of her spunk in the tweet above.) She had no fear and wanted to give me an opportunity to ask questions. I looked forward to meeting her.
In full disclosure, I sent Heather a draft copy of the following summary to make sure I articulated her words accurately.
We met at a local coffee shop, Bucer’s Coffeehouse Pub, which coincidently is owned by Pat Greenfield, the mother of Natalie Rose Greenfield. As you may recall, Natalie has spoken out recently about how Doug Wilson and elders at Christ Church mishandled her sexual abuse case in which Jamin Wight sexually violated Natalie beginning when she was 14 yrr old.
Heather easily noticed me waiting at the counter. We sipped our drinks and conversed at an outside table on Main St. in downtown Moscow. We got to know each other a bit, compared family sizes, ages, school backgrounds, etc. Heather was very easy to talk with and I thought if I had met her at my church, I could easily be friends with her. She’s just your normal easy-going mom raising her family just like we all do, with normal busy-ness, interruptions, etc.
We talked about a number of issues that have been part of the controversy, but Heather simply said that she wasn’t really up on the details, and was not in a position to talk about them. Fair enough.
We then moved on to the Steven Sitler case. To quickly summarize the Sitler case, Steven Sitler was the pedophile who sexually abused several children in three different states. He was convicted for only one case (the parents of the other victims refused to report) and sentenced to life in prison; however, that sentence was later reduced in a plea deal. He served 20 months in prison, and was sentenced to a life term.
Doug Wilson was instrumental in the plea deal, having written a letter to the judge indicating he felt Sitler had fully repented and requested “that the civil penalties applied would be measured and limited.” Doug Wilson also officiated in the marriage of Sitler to Katie Travis and, to this day, defends his decision.
If you haven’t seen the timeline on the Sitler case, please do check it out. It is very helpful, easy to read, and the information is backed up with linked primary source documentation.
I had a few problems with the Sitler situation. No, big problems. I felt it was wrong for Iverson, an elder and trusted family friend of Katie’s, to match her up with Sitler. I told Heather that no one in their right mind who cared about and was acting as guardian for a young lady would ever match up a pedophile with anyone, let alone a young woman under his care. When you take the responsibility of caring for someone, you don’t put them in harm’s way. This was an accident waiting to happen.
I appealed to her as a mother and asked if she would be okay with someone matching up her daughter with a pedophile. She indicated she would not. We were in agreement on that point. However, she did say that she was not privy to the details that led to Katie being matched up with Steven, or how Katie fell in love with and wanted to marry him, so maybe there was information that might better explain things.
We moved on from that topic to another issue that deeply concerned me: that Doug Wilson officiated the wedding of Steven Sitler and Katie, knowing full well his pedophilia past, knowing full well Sitler wanted children, and knowing full well that if Sitler did anything wrong again, he would likely be sent back to prison for life.
I discussed that I didn’t believe there was wisdom in Wilson officiating the marriage. I also told Heather that Wilson was giving Katie and their future baby/babies a life sentence, meaning either Steven would end up in prison, or isolated from his children, or under strict supervision, 24/7. Additionally, Katie would bear a lot of the burden of keeping her children safe from their own father, and would even have to chaperone her husband. This was not a good way to start a marriage or for any marriage, for that matter, and I felt that Wilson failed his job as shepherd when he officiated the wedding.
From Heather’s understanding, Doug Wilson claimed that Sitler was repentant. Katie was an adult; they loved each other and consented to be married. There was nothing in the Bible that said they could not marry. There was nothing in civil laws preventing them from getting married. Wilson was their pastor, and while he counsels people, they were still free to make the own decisions, even if the decisions were foolish, and against Wilson’s counsel.
(Heather noted that it is ironic that people online complain that Wilson is very controlling and used this as an example to show that he doesn’t control people, even if they go against his advice – in general, not specifically referring to the Sitler scandal.)
I mentioned that Wilson could have told them it was not wise to get married, and Heather said we don’t know if he did or didn’t say that as Wilson refuses to discuss private pastoral counsel. I told her that he could have refused to marry them based on the obvious projected outcome, and this might have helped them to reconsider getting married.
I mentioned that Wilson could have counseled Sitler to get a vasectomy in order to relieve the burden of Katie having to chaperone her husband. Heather replied that she did not know if Wilson counseled this or not to Sitler.
We then discussed the likelihood that Sitler would have gotten married anyway, and then the issue Heather presented was: who would care for this couple if they got married in a different church? Would the pastor understand the danger Sitler presented to the congregation? Would Katie get the support and help she needed?
So, in Heather’s mind, having Doug Wilson, Sitler’s current pastor, preside over the wedding meant that Wilson could have direct oversight of the couple, even knowing that this would be a difficult task for the elders and the church body to undertake. Wilson and elders could make sure that Sitler was attending church each week and have accountability. The women in the church could make sure Katie and baby would get proper support.
Heather continued saying that Christ Church body knows the Sitler case. Sitler can’t hide there, but he and Katie will be shown love and still be held accountable; whereas, if they were married and going to church elsewhere, it is believed that Katie and Sitler could slip through the cracks, possibly re-offending or be in inadequate physical, emotional, and spiritual care.
I’ve read a LOT of Doug Wilson’s comments regarding his handling of this situation and most of his comments are defensive, without much clear explanation. Even though I strongly disagree with how Wilson has handled this case and believe this couple never should have been married, at least Heather’s explanation gave me more insight to the thought process from Doug Wilson’s perspective, and I thought some might be interested to understand.
Our meeting ended well. We definitely disagreed on how Doug Wilson handles things, but on other topics, we are probably similar. If I go to Moscow again, I would be happy to have coffee with Heather again. I found Heather to be a very warm and caring individual. I appreciated hearing things from Heather’s perspective and for the time – 3 hours! Thank you, Heather!
Related articles:
- On “the scandal in this” For anyone who might send their child to New Saint Andrews College, MoscowID.net
- Seeing Through the Fog: A Pastor’s Hate Unmasked, April Kelsey
- The dangers of keeping things in the church, Katie Botkin
- The Last Meeting, Natalie Rose Greenfield – “Doug sat with one leg crossed and intently told me I needed to stop seeing this guy, repent of my sexual sin and find the path of righteousness.”
Spiritual Sounding Board 
Another sleepless night for myself, this did my heart good you took the time to write this and to confirm the dialog with the other person. I appreciated the fact that you went out of your way to talk to people right in their community and to try to hear both sides.
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“If you can’t stand the tweet, get out of the bitchen”
Jesus Christ would never say this.
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Julie Anne, let me second Brian in thanking you for going to Moscow, ID to speak to speak with people there and to hear their stories.
Now on to the substance of my post. It seems that there is a sense, certainly conveyed in Heather Wilson’s conversation with you, that the Kirk (i.e., Doug Wilson) knows best how to deal with a pedophile and I find this uncomfortable in the extreme. I find this uncomfortable because the court/probation system is ultimately responsible for Steven Sitler. Who will go directly to the authorities when Steven Sitler finds new victims? Who will go DIRECTLY to Steven’s probation officer or the police if they are concerned that Steven is re-offending? Who is insisting on a daily basis that Steven Sitler repent by going to the police and confessing his guilt in every instance of child molestation and ask to be imprisoned to truly pay for his crimes? They still mistakenly believe that repentance is all that is required. If there is prayer needed, it would be for Steven Sitler to be in prison, where he belongs, rather than the general insanity of trying to find qualified chaperones to make sure he does not abuse his own infant son.
With this attitude of “We can best care for Steven Sitler” there is every possibility that he will again slip through the cracks, re-offend, and not be held accountable.
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If this was Doug’s thinking, why haven’t we heard it from Doug? Heather is always sent in when Doug needs a prettier face applied to his misbehavior. She’s the Christ Church equivalent of a PR spin.
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Olivia is right. Heather engages in the tactic of insisting that DW’s critics prove he didn’t do certain things. Who can prove a negative? I say that if Doug is to be defended on the basis that he may have done certain things, it is up to Doug and his defenders to satisfy the burden of proving that he actually did them.
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So who are we dispatching to cover the Lourdes Torres v Doug Philips /Vision Forum & Vision forum board of flunkies trial. March will be here before you know it.
I vote for Dash and a Chicago typewriter.
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Thankfully, not all churches think they can handle child predation in-house.
“What’s Wrong With a Hug?”: http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2015/october-web-exclusives/unwanted-hugs-and-kisses.html
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Great comment, Olivia. Doug has addressed these issues, but he spends so much time speaking in circles trying to impress his readers using words that even smart people might have to pull out a dictionary. That alone should say something. If you are a shepherd and teacher, your job is to convey a message in understandable terms. Your choice of words should not cause confusion. By utilizing the words he intentionally chooses, he is able to claim higher knowledge and it is our misunderstanding, not his, when people call him out on something. Think of how his use of language keeps him in a position of control in the conversation – the place where all abusers like to be.
As far as using Heather to speak for Doug as PR person, I think you are right.
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Hold on a minute. Iverson introduces a woman, who he knows is desperate to be married, to a pedophile. He does so with the intention of initiating courtship. If Heather is “not privy to the details,” she can read about it in Sitler’s own words.
http://sitler.moscowid.net/2010/08/15/the-meeting/
http://sitler.moscowid.net/2010/08/31/steven-sitler-the-courtship/
Since Sitler was kind enough to blog about the events for all to read, how is Heather “not privy” to what happened? If she’s that uninvolved with the goings on at Christ Church then she makes a very poor spokeswoman. Being “nice” is not a substitute for being knowledgeable.
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Since when is Christ Church qualified to oversee a convicted pedophile? The court-appointed chaperone had her status revoked for not disclosing Sitler being sexually stimulated by his infant son. It doesn’t sound like Christ Church is prepared to handle this situation at all. I think it’s arrogant for them to think they can make better decisions than the courts in regard to a convicted pedophile. I mean, Sitler already molested at least one child on Doug Wilson’s watch. God help Sitler’s baby.
I’d like to think another church would have been more responsible and never hooked Katie and Sitler up to begin with.
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Ellen, thank you so much for the link to that important article! It is mind boggling to me that everyone could not see the dangerousness of a volunteer who insisted on hugging a child who refused to be hugged and then persisted over the stated objections of the mother and pastor as well and tried to swear the child to secrecy. I didn’t know people could be so foolish.
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“…but Heather simply said that she wasn’t really up on the details, and was not in a position to talk about them.”
“However, she did say that she was not privy to the details… so maybe there was information that might better explain things.”
“…Heather said we don’t know if he did or didn’t say that…”
“Heather replied that she did not know…”
Is she even willing to educate herself with what is out there publicly? Has she asked Doug? I dislike the number of times she claimed ignorance. I get that this is probably a sore spot for the Wilson clan these days, and I can see how the topic might be generally avoided. Yet she was willing to meet and talk with you.
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Hi Julie (and all),
I enjoyed our time and hope you’ll make it to our Sunday service next visits. I don’t have much extra time to engage with your readers but thought I’d add a few quick notes.
First, no one sends me out to say anything. Ever. I speak when I feel compelled. To assert otherwise is just untrue (though that doesn’t seem to stop people these days). I am a grown up, I have my own thoughts,
and on occasion I voice them:)
Second, the church is caring for/ministering to/counseling the Sitlers. However, this does not in any way, shape or form replace parameters or requirements set by the state of Idaho (nor should it!) The terms of his lifetime parole (professional counseling/chaperones/etc) are in place and anything from the church is in addition to those measures (that included any pastoring from Doug Wilson).
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Also, for everyone who takes issue with what I know or don’t or comment on or don’t…
In all the cases there is lots of info out there. Some true, some not, some partially true (which means partially not). I do not want to add more to the mix (even if public and true) unless I truly believe it would be actually fruitful/beneficially to the community at large. However, I would suggest that many people demanding answers would not believe me (or DW) whatever the answers may be (if the past is telling of the future).
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Heather,
By “community at large”, I don’t know if you mean Christ Church, the CREC, Moscow, the body of Christ in general, etc. This thing has gotten as big as it has, mostly because of the scale of Doug’s ministry reach over the years.
If you have information that would disprove anything false about the Sitler/Wight cases floating around the internet, I hope you will consider putting it out there, if you are able to do so. I for one, may or may not agree with Doug’s reasoning in the decisions that were made along the way, but I always appreciate verified facts.
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My concern is that Sitler’s family is in a position to cover up further offenses, which is in fact precisely why Sitler is now living in a motel, the judge having determined his chaperones aren’t doing their job. Doug Wilson seems to be solely interested in proving that a patriarchal family model can cure a pedophile, and I question why none of the families of Sitler’s other victims came forward. Were they coerced into silence?
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I have my suspicions about your last question, Dash. Who benefits from the silence?
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@JulieAnne:
“Higher Knowledge” as in “Occult Gnosis”?
“Ours is a High and Lonely Destiny.”
— Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew
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@BTDT:
Since PASTOR Penetrate/Colonize/Conquer/Plant Said So, that’s when!
“If you question anything I do
You rebel against The Father too…”
— Steve Taylor, “I Manipulate”
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@BTDT:
“I KNOW NOTHINK! NOTHINK!”
— Sgt Schultz
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Thank you and Heather both for taking the time to meet as sisters in Christ, JA.
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Heather, if I come to Moscow again, I would be happy to join you at your Sunday service. Thanks for the offer.
JA
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The case of pedophile Steven Sitler walking the streets will hopefully inspire the Idaho legislature to change its laws and make them much tougher.
Next, the Christ Church pastors/elders could have picked a better spouse for Katie if they had:
a) simply closed their eyes, picked up the phone book, opened it up to any page, and with eyes closed pointed a finger at a man’s name. That would have resulted in a better candidate for a husband for Katie than the method they employed: oh let’s toss facts out the window.
b) alternatively, the pastors/elders could have pled incompetence (seems fitting after all) and given the task of finding a husband for Katie to unbelievers. I’ve seen news stories of competent unbelievers who scouted malls for prospective future spouses for their friends, had interview questions, and selected safe, sane candidates that resulted in…happy, safe marriages.
c) a pedophile in a family puts everyone at risk…immediate family, future generations (grandchildren), nephews/nieces, cousins, family friends, playmates, neighbors, children at church, etc. dangerous, dangerous, dangerous.
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Julie Anne,
Could you please delete my posts here on the sexual abuse resources.
They will be at the top of the page under the Off-Topic Discussion as resources for folks to watch, read, or listen to. Thanks! I don’t want to throw the thread off.
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Does anyone know what has become of the CPS investigation into the well-being of the infant boy of Steven and Katie Sitler’s?
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“The church is caring for/ministering to/counseling the Sitlers.”
Thus far, I have not heard of one thing the church ever did because it is in the interest of 1) Katie Sitler or 2) the Sitler baby.
Could you elaborate and tell us of specific things the church did, for her and her baby?
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JA, I’m very curious to hear Wilson’s explanation for this:
http://natalierose-livewithpassion.blogspot.com/2015/10/the-last-meeting.html
I know of a similar situation from my former cult. My husband was friends with the man. His SO was grilled for titillating details by a pastor. I can get very graphic about how I feel about that. It’s just one way that pastors get their porno fix.
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I just wish Katie would get a judge’s order and take the baby and go home to live with her folks in Nevada. She needs their support.
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I removed 2 comments: mine and one of BTDT because I want to get more information re: food bank.
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Heather’s comments should be telling to those who are patriarchy fans–
‘First, no one sends me out to say anything. Ever. I speak when I feel compelled. To assert otherwise is just untrue (though that doesn’t seem to stop people these days). I am a grown up, I have my own thoughts,
and on occasion I voice them:)’
Sadly, many other women do not have her freedom. 😦
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Heather-
Your answers seem to smack of “plausible deniability”….how come you couldn’t say something like “I don’t know, let me call Doug and find out.” Instead, you seem to use lawyer tactics of casting doubt (“We don’t know he didn’t say that”) etc…
I’m sure you are a nice person and treated Julie with respect, but I question how you can claim such ignorance and be satisfied with staying ignorant in light of the crimes that have transpired and the personal connection to Doug’s family.
Respecfully-CA
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BTDT has it right; this is a guy who gets off on hearing a young woman talk about her sex life–which is none of his bloody business.
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All,
I posted an interesting video about patriarchy at the top of the page here in the Off-Topic Discussion for those who are interested in seeing it. (Someone posted it and mentioned it over at Tim Fall’s blog.) The video is of Ron Pierce, a theological professor at Talbot Theological Seminary and author, who used to support comp doctrine/patriarchy until he closely studied the Scriptures and found out that the Scriptures didn’t support it. Dr. Pierce changed his mind about comp/patriarchy.
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Here is an article about the CREC process looking into the Sitler and Wight cases. This article reveals that this process does not rise to the level of an investigation, but rather just an inquiry. So it would seem that looking into the matter of these cases is just going through the motions.
http://moscowid.net/2015/10/16/on-the-crec-inquiry/
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@Velour, thank you for introducing me to Ron Pierce. I am reading the blurb for his “Discovering Biblical Equality” on Amazon right now, and I can’t wait to order it.
I’m sure many of us are confused by the actions of Steven Sitler’s wife. But if she and her child have any tangible needs that are being overlooked, some might be interested in donating. Does anyone know if she has paypal or a donation page?
@Julie Anne, OT, but I have been reading your twitter exchanges with Chuck O’Neal today, and it made me sick to my stomach. I occasionally deal with online harassment and doxing from a person I testified against in court years ago (they were convicted), and it brings up tremendous anxiety. Seriously, how do you do it? I have good emotional and spiritual tools at my disposal when it comes up, but I do not think I could endure it as frequently as you do.
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@Jael,
*You are welcome for the information about Ron Pierce. Several people at The Wartburg Watch (older conservative Christians) recommended him after these unbiblical teachings and women and men, including in my former NeoCal church.
I have added several other important resources in the Off-Topic Discussion at the top of the page on comp doctrine, including:
*Commenter/poster/author/researcher Barb Orlowski, Canada, (blog is Church Exiters) posted these books on 8/25/15 on another Wartburg Watch article regarding the whole comp discussion as recommended reading.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I would like to recommend three books by Susanna Krizo which attempt to expose the Complementarian agenda.
*Wade Burleson a pastor (articles and links to Istoria Ministries; he’s the E-Church pastors on Sundays at The Wartburg Watch)
*An article by Dr. Keith Johnson that Wade Burleson recommended, about this whole Eternal Subordination of the Son nonsense being used to justify the subordination of women. It’s a very academic article but worth the read.
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@Jael,
I support some sort of fundraiser for Katie, but would rather do it through a sane organization since Katie seems to be under the rule of Christ Church and donor information could be used against donors.
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^Sorry for incorrect word that got inserted, Jael. Autocorrect issue.
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Thank you, Darlene, for that link on CREC. Sadly, I’m not surprised.
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Jael,
Thank you for your kind words. This has been a rough week for me. It started when I read about the case in New York where 2 young brothers were beaten profusely by their parents and others. The one brother died. It triggered stuff for me and although I had plans of at least 5 posts this week and started several, my writing mojo was wiped. If I don’t write for a few days, it’s either school deadlines or emotional junk triggering me.
He’s a case. I’m glad I don’t lose sleep over his bully ways. At this point, he can say whatever he wants to about me. The way he twists things is ridiculous. I can’t control him, I just have to stay true to myself and let him roll off my back like a duck. Quack, Quack. 🙂
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Julie Anne,
I also had a tough week too from reading about those 2 brothers who were beaten, and one murdered, by their *Christian* (splutter, cough, “depart from Me, I never knew you” said Jesus) *family*. I just really grieved for what those boys went through and the helplessness of it all. Just evil, evil, evil.
And then there’s CON, your former pastor and the widespread mistreatment of so many. His wife Mrs. CON planning to put business cards on peoples’ windshields in parking lots…about you. These people have NO CLASS!! I am sure that people getting those cards will think less of Mrs. CON and that church than of you. I would.
Just so low class. All of it.
Then there’s the weirdo tweets CON sends out. Again, NO CLASS. Whom taught these people manners? What a disgrace! If I had dared do a fraction of what they did and disgraced the family name, my family would have chewed me out up one wall and down the other for disgracing the family. I would have been required to go apologize to others for my disgraceful conduct. Truly, I wouldn’t need the internet to correct me…I’d have family in my face demanding it!
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Oh, she and others actually did put those business cards on windshields. They went to the church where some former members now attend and their security had to go through the parking lot and confiscate them before church was out. They had a huge stack. I’m thinking in the 100s. I could be wrong on the number, but it was enough that it took the security the length of the service to go through the whole parking lot. It’s quite a large church. Then they went to local malls during the busy Christmas shopping season to distribute them. They also distributed them through neighborhoods and when they went evangelizing. I call it anti-evangelizing. If this is what Christianity looks like, who would want it?
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Wow, Julie Anne. That is despicable what they did. To me, besides having no good sense as adults, your former pastor CON, his wife Mrs. CON, and their cohorts had NO PROPER TRAINING as children. That kind of bad behavior should have been nipped in the bud in their childhoods and never permitted to flourish in to adulthood.
And you’re right…if this is Christianity on display what a poor witness they are to a watching world.
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Julie Anne,
From my viewpoint, this is what the Cult of Hubbard looks like. The harassment of former members, the labelling of all critics as “enemies” and “apostates”, the creation of smear sites online purporting to tell The Real Truth… all these things are straight out of their playbook.
Sick Cult is Sick. And so is Sick Cult Leader.
It’s incomprehensible to me that MacArthur (?) hasn’t called out CON’s behaviour yet. Maybe he and his church don’t want to admit that they’ve created a monster (so to speak).
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Velour,
Yeah, I was following that throughout the week, too. What a peek into the Twilight Zone… 😯
And not just O’Neal but all of his fanboys, too, trying to gang up on Julie Anne. I remember thinking, “What has CON got them on? A Kool-Aid I.V. drip?”
Taking the crazy to whole ‘nuther level…
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“It’s incomprehensible to me that MacArthur (?) hasn’t called out CON’s behaviour yet. Maybe he and his church don’t want to admit that they’ve created a monster (so to speak).” – Serving Kids in Japan
The first person that I saw get excommunicated and shunned at my former spiritually abusive, authoritarian, NeoCal church was a godly doctor who was married to his wife for 45+ years, loving marriage, loving father to grown children. He volunteered at the church, gave money, purchased all kinds of excellent books, DVDs, and videos to start the church’s lending library (the church was new and a church plant). The doctor even invited and paid for the senior pastor to accompany the doctor and his long-time close personal friend Pastor John MacArthur on a trip to North Carolina for a personal visit a few years ago with the Rev. Billy Graham in Rev. Graham’s log cabin home.
The good doctor’s “crime” that got his name dragged through the mud by senior pastor and elders before the entire church? The doctor disagreed with the pastors/elders running of the church in private and used the Bible.
My former pastor is a graduate of MacArthur’s The Master’s Seminary. MacArthur was outraged that his long-time close personal friend the doctor was ordered to be excommunicated and shunned, lied about, and banned from church property.
The senior pastor told us all to pray for the doctor’s wife. She told me a different story. She always hated the pastor, the elders, and their bizarre church and warned her husband they should not attend that church!
The senior pastor omitted telling all of us what the doctor’s wife thought….gee, I wonder why?????
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What I was told years ago was that they have no jurisdiction over an independent church, so they don’t do this. But on the other hand, I remember Phil Johnson post on his Facebook page (it was regarding my case), that those godly leaders should call out those who are abusive (my wording).
I don’t exaggerate when I look at spiritual abuse as spiritual rape. When your spiritual soul has been so violated, there is not a better word to describe it.
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