Domestic Violence, SSB Sunday Gathering

SSB Gathering – October 4, 2015

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.

 by Kathi

long drive


Given that this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I thought I would post verses that are often used to keep a person in a domestic violence situation. My intent in this is to focus on how the Bible can be and is used as a means of control by an abuser.

My hope is that this will open discussion about the real issue of domestic violence within the church family. As we have this discussion, I ask that words be used carefully and your mind be open and understanding. Everyone who has lived through or is currently in a domestic violence situation has different experiences. Sunday Gatherings are meant to be a place of support, and I ask that we use this space in that way.

Please take care while reading. If reading through these verses is difficult for you and brings back painful memories, please make sure  that you are taking care of yourself. Again, my hope and intent is to bring discussion about how the church responds to domestic violence. Please let me know if continuing this throughout the month is too difficult and I will stop this series. -Kathi


1 Peter 3: 1-7

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.


Ephesians 5:21

Submit yourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ.



May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you;

may he guide you through the wilderness: protect you from the storm;

may he bring you home rejoicing: at the wonders he has shown you;

may he bring you home rejoicing: once again into our doors.

Feel free to join the discussion.
You can share your church struggles and concerns.
Let’s also use it as a time to encourage one another spiritually.
What have you found spiritually encouraging lately?
Do you have any special Bible verses to share, any YouTube songs that you have found uplifting?


photo credit: Kathi – Washington

30 thoughts on “SSB Gathering – October 4, 2015”

  1. When Adam chose to sin (Eve was merely deceived), God withdrew His active presence. He warned Eve that a continuing outworking of Adam’s separation from Himself would be that Adam would dominate Eve. Gen. 3:16, if memory serves. Many prominent “Christian” preachers and teachers have twisted this warning into a license for husbands to treat women as de facto slaves, and for men generally to treat women as subordinate beings.

    As a consequence, only men are allowed to lead in the great majority of the organizations we call churches. Many of these men, having been drawn to “ministry” by the desire for and pursuit of prestige, power, pecuniary gain and (often) sexual conquest, will tend to try to control by the imposition of coercive authority, without love. They will by nature, therefore, tend to side with and enable other men as they dominate their wives and girlfriends by the application of physical, emotional, spiritual and every other form of abuse.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It may be that we can give Paul some modicum of credit for acknowledging that women may teach. Titus: 2:3. However, it is distressing that he does so, in part, with the object of recruiting older women to promote the ages-old practice of men dominating women. “…and so train the young women to…to be…submissive to their own husbands…. (Titus 2:4-5 ESV).

    At the end of this same passage Paul admonishes slaves to obey their masters. Paul in effect relegates wives to the same position as slaves, and demands that both wives and slaves obey their masters.

    Assuming the accuracy of the Biblical chronologies, it was some six thousand years after the expulsion of Adam from the Garden that Christians (mostly) came to recognize the evils of slavery, of the practice of one man owning another. How long will it take before the John Pipers of the world come to reject the practice of husbands exercising de facto ownership of their wives?


  3. A cool song “Jesus” written by American singer Amos Lee the day his grandfather died. Amos is singing this in Scotland with a bunch of world-class Scottish and American musicians for the Transatlantic Sessions recordings.


  4. “Reels” played by famed Scottish fiddler Aly Bain, American Jerry Douglas (he usually plays the dobro and plays with Alison Krauss & Union Station), and other world-class musicians. This was filmed at an old hunting lodge in Scotland for the Transatlantic Sessions music series.

    JA fixed link


  5. That must have been one awesome show, Kathi!

    I was just thinking yesterday that a group of us should plan a graduation party for Julie Anne in a couple of years. Perhaps Dash in charge of music, you on decorations, me on food, etc. Wouldn’t that be cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. @gm370,
    Glad you liked the Amos Lee song!
    I have listened to it for hours. Best to take off shoes and dance!

    I must say that the joy of no longer being in a spiritually abusive, repressive church is I have rediscovered my ferocious love of the Blues and other forms of music!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Velour,

    I will bring the wine! I had never heard of him, I added that song to my Spotify playlist and did a little dancing. It is wonderful to be out of all that ridiculous b.s. bondage.


  8. When Adam chose to sin (Eve was merely deceived), God withdrew His active presence. He warned Eve that a continuing outworking of Adam’s separation from Himself would be that Adam would dominate Eve. Gen. 3:16, if memory serves. Many prominent “Christian” preachers and teachers have twisted this warning into a license for husbands to treat women as de facto slaves, and for men generally to treat women as subordinate beings.

    Gary, I have frequently heard this verse used to “put women in their place.” Interestingly, it’s mostly the men doing the talking. They are fine with it. They see it as perfectly logical. Yet, if they were women, I think they may have another thought about it. I have a problem with taking 50% of the population and assigning them an inferior position based on one verse in the Old Testament, no less, when we see the actions of Jesus showing the opposite.


  9. Gail – My favorite album of Amos Lee’s is Mission Bell. When we saw him, Calexico opened. They play back up on the song Hello Again on that album.


  10. All,

    I have posted very good links on the Off-Topic Discussion thread that Baptist pastor Wade Burleson (Enid, Oklahoma) has written about these incorrect teachings about women not being able to teach men, submission, etc. Wade is the pastor for The Wartburg Watch’s E-Church on Sundays. He is a very fair-minded man, knows his Bible and his history.

    I didn’t want to get this thread off-topic, so read them at your leisure. Very informative.


  11. Yeah, Julie Anne.

    Yes, that Amos Lee song is fantastic! (amazon sells all of the Transatlantic Sessions DVDS. I have to double check. I think this one is on Session 5.)

    What year do you think you will be graduating from school? What are your favorite foods? You are in Eastern Washington, right? I am in California. Honestly, I would take vacation time, fly in and help set up for the PAR-TAY! Kathi, Gail, and Dash (callin’ Dash to check-in…)…we really should set something up! It would be SO FUN!


  12. Hi Julie Anne,

    Yes, that is one fine Amos Lee song. Bluegrass is awesome! The whole Transatlantic Sessions series, filmed in Scotland and coordinated by master Scottish fiddler Aly Bain and American dobro player Jerry Douglas is fantastic and the DVDs can be ordered from places like amazon. I think Amos Lee is on Session 5.

    What year do you think you will graduate from school? Seriously, it would be fun to partay together in your area (Eastern Washington?) for a coordinated event. What are your favorite foods? (Least favorites. We need a coordination helper. Your daughter Hannah perhaps to spill the details on things we need to know about you.)
    Is there are recreation hall that can be rented in town?

    I am in California, but I would honestly fly or drive up there for this and take vacation time for a get together!


  13. Velour, depending on whether I go through summers or not, probably around Fall or Winter of 2017. I’ll have my AA after completion of next term. You are all too kind. I so appreciate the support.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Another Transatlantic Session, American bluegrass player Dan Tymniski, playing with Scottish and American musicians in Scotland.


  15. In honor of Dee and Deb from The Wartburg Watch in North Carolina, Bluegrass singer/player Alison Krauss and Jerry Douglas singing “Carolina In My Mind”, at a tribute to James Taylor.


  16. Speaking of “abuse,” I wiped out on my bike today in the middle of my Sunday ride; new high-speed tires and I took a turn too fast. Not a big deal but I have some nasty road rash on my elbow and thigh. I hope I’m not too sore in the morning.

    Velour, I love Jerry Douglas and Allison Kraus. You have good taste in music. 🙂


  17. Oh, no….Dash. Sorry about the bike accident. I hope you will be on the mend.
    If I were in the neighborhood I would deliver you chicken soup and sympathy.

    There is nothing so healing as great music. I saw Alison Krauss & Union Station play in California a few years ago. It was terrific!


  18. Yeah, Kathi! Woo hoo!!! Glad you’re game for the party.

    * You know where Julie Anne lives in Eastern Washington and I don’t. (I believe you dropped in on her.) We will need to research places for rent. Nail down a date in 2017 sometime to celebrate Julie Anne’s graduation.

    *Kathi, maybe you have a way we could reach Julie Anne’s daughter Hannah and get important insider information about Julie Anne (likes/dislikes, etc.). We need Hannah’s help.

    * Gail (gm370) would like to come and contribute beverages.

    *I can coordinate food.

    *Kathi. Are you any good at decorations? Being the *crafty* type (knitting, etc.). Seems like you could be a natural.

    DASH. Earth calling Dash. Dash, respond as soon as you are on the mend. We are planning a Spiritual Sounding Board college graduation party for Julie Anne in the northeast in 2017. Date to be determined. Are you in that area? Any possibility that we put you in charge of music for the blessed event?


  19. ^Georgraphic correction: We are planning a the graduation in the (Pacific) Northwest, NOT the Northeast. Hey, it’s Monday….LOL.


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