Josh Duggar, sex scandal, painful reminders, homeschool movement, patriarchy, purity and modesty culture, Bill Gothard
With the recent disclosure of sexual infidelity by Josh Duggar, I have been noticing a lot of people who have been influenced by Patriarchy, Quiverfull, Bill Gothard, Homeschool Movement, etc, trying to make sense of what is going on. Some of us are experiencing strong emotions as we think about this case, how connected we were to certain teachings, how the teachings have affected us and our families.
Yesterday, I found myself very angry at Patriarchy and how women are victimized and silenced. I was angry at the hurry-up-and-marry-young-and-have-lots-of-babies teaching we see in these groups. I’m sickened that Anna Duggar has most likely been isolated with like-minded people and so any counsel she receives is the typical mantra about divorce, repentance, etc. Reports in media have already alluded that Anna has no plans on leaving Josh.
I’m angry that the teaching that she has been exposed to says that you must have a happy countenance. This teaching does not allow for people to express feelings appropriately. If someone has a sad/angry face, they won’t be “attractive” to share the Gospel. This is how they deny themselves for Christ. I’ve got news for them. When someone is allowed to express their feelings, it is telling the truth. Do you see how truth can remain hidden in these groups when people are not allowed to express what is really going on? This teaching infiltrated my family, too. Some in my family have difficulty expressing themselves because they weren’t allowed to express negativity. All because of these teachings.
I’m angry that we isolated our children from “outside” family members for fear of their worldly influence. They lost precious relationships with cousins, aunts, uncles that they can never get back.
Every time a scandal comes out, it takes me back to my own painful story.
Okay, enough from me. Below is a comment from Anonymous posted yesterday:
Please pray for the survivors struggling to reclaim what is left of our lives post ATI cult. Each Duggar event is a trigger that cycles the anger, shame, guilt of the parents and students. We are grieving the loss of family, faith and the Godly families we worked tirelessly to produce. The lies we bought into destroyed our families and robbed us of precious relationships and joys!! We separated from our extended families to protect out children. Many grandparents died never connecting to our kids because we were taught “generational sins” pass down.
This latest scandal is all too common in our families’ dysfunction of understanding a healthy sex life is Gods gift not to be shunned. That poor wife is like our daughters who were raised to believe in the white knight sent by God, after years of protection, chastity vows and rings, and fairy tale lives promised in all approved reading material ( from Vision Forum and Doup Phillips/ATI approved !!!)
I am just sick again to have followed my husband into this snake put if lies with our children. Gods grace is so precious to me.
These words are sad and heartfelt. I’m sure many of you who have been connected with these teachings could be struggling with similar thoughts. If you have been impacted by the Josh Duggar scandal, feel free to share here. The sad story is that these teachings extend far beyond the families who were part of the teachings. If you have been impacted in any way by the Josh Duggar scandal, this post is for you.